Turning the big 13 is a big time in a child's life. Make that young adult. They have finally hit their teen years and everything is different. Okay we know it's not, but they don't. Make this a special time with them and re-establish your roles as parent and confidant. Here are some suggestions to make it a special time for all.
My daughter will be turning 13 this December. I have already begun planning it. First reason is because it is the big 13. The second reason is she always gets cheated out of a big birthday because it is so close to Christmas. I used to have big parties for her until I had my other kids and money got tighter. Not to mention all the planning and time involved with Christmas. ANYWAY....
She is going on a "date" with her dad. A grown up, get all dressed up, fancy date at a nice restaurant. This is a good time for them to spend some quality time together and for both of them to realize that she is not a little girl anymore. She IS still a little girl and will always be in our hearts but we have to accept the fact that she is growing up.
Mom, don't feel left out. This is important for daughter and dad to share a special time. You get to get her ready for the event by shopping for a special dress and helping her get ready.
Birthday Party (first of two)
Have a special party just for the family. Invite all the aunts, uncles, and grandparents and ooh and ahh as to how she has grown up. This is why you are having two parties. You don't want to embarrass her in front of her friends having to witness the spectacle of family. Make it a pot luck dinner where everyone brings a dish.
This is where you blow it out. Lots of drinks, snacks, cake, ice cream, STEREO and then you get out of there. Check in often but don't hover. You can hover a little if boys are invited just to be sure. Let Dad walk through the room with a shot gun once and that should cure any problems that could think about arising.
After the parties, plan a lunch just Mom and Daughter. You can gossip about the parties and dinner with Dad. Set new rules for your relationship. Of course, you are still Mom and that will never change but this is the time to build your relationship closer. You should be her best friend in the way that she knows that she can always come to you without judgement. Let her know you are there. Give her a special gift to symbolize your relationship. A charm bracelet/necklace with a charm that signifies the two of you for example. I forgot to add that for Dad. Have him give her something on their "date" as well special for them.