How to Overcome Shyness to Meet Men

You can overcome shyness by becoming less preoccupied with yourself.

Shyness is, for many people, simply an element of their personality. Some people are introverts, uncomfortable around strangers or in new situations. For shy women, their introversion can hinder their ability to meet new men to date. Shyness can be overcome, but it takes a conscious effort to set aside the doubts and insecurities that stand in the way of being outgoing. To overcome shyness, you must become less aware and less critical of yourself.

Instructions

1. Tell yourself how self-confident you are. Even if you don't believe it at first, the mere act of repeating phrases like "I am bold and confident" often will help change your attitude. And yes, say them aloud if you're in a venue where you can. As your aura of confidence grows, men will start to notice it.

2. Don't take things personally. If it feels as if someone is slighting you in some way, think about what a bad day they must be having or imagine what in their past might be causing them to behave so wrongly.

3. Prepare things to say to the people that you know you're going to see during the day. Be ready with a list of questions to ask other people about themselves and a list of topics such as movies, current events and the weather. Ask the men you meet to talk about themselves. If they're doing all the talking and you're just asking questions from your list, you may find that you don't feel shy at all.

4. Focus on your strengths. If you spend time doing the things that you love to do and are good at, the men you meet will be interested in the same things and will therefore be easier to talk to.

5. Don't hang out with other shy people who will just ratify the choices you've been making to remain in your shyness. Instead, ask your more gregarious friends to challenge you and support you as you try to meet new men. Ask them for tips and trade stories. Many extroverts have no idea what it's like to be shy, and as you share your different experiences, you may pick up all sorts of new ideas and attitudes that will help you meet men.

6. Put yourself in situations where remaining shy is difficult. Sit at the front of a meeting or seminar. Make a deal with yourself to speak up a certain number of times in a given situation, and keep the deal.

7. Let people know about your shyness. Often extroverts, who don't understand what it means to be shy, misinterpret shyness as arrogance or coldness. If you tell the men you meet that you're shy, they will understand you better, and they may find it charming. If they're not interested in you because of your shyness, at least you won't waste time on them.

References

• Think Simple Now: Twenty Ways to Overcome Shyness
• Dumb Little Man: How to Finally Overcome Shyness
• Pick the Brain: Overcoming Shyness
• Shake Your Shyness: Shyness Tips