How to Be Assertive With Friends or Family
If you feel like you get pushed around, take on too many responsibilities with your friends and family, and don't communicate your needs clearly, then you need to work on becoming more assertive. You should be able to express your feelings and opinions with your friends and family while respecting their feelings and opinions. Some people are naturally assertive but it's a skill that can be learned and practiced by others. If you learn how to deal with situations in an assertive manner, you'll be better equipped to handle conflict and get your needs met more often.
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Instructions
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Clearly communicate how you feel by using "I" statements. Instead of saying, "You don't care about me. You always roll your eyes when I'm talking," say, "I feel like you don't care about me when you roll your eyes at me."
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Don't use judgments or name calling. For example, you might say, "I've been waiting for you for 20 minutes, because we were supposed to meet at 8:00," instead of, "You're really selfish for making me wait on you."
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Ask the other person if he understands you. Make sure that your point is being heard by getting feedback from your friends and family members.
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Body language is a large component of being assertive. Maintain eye contact, stand or sit with your shoulders back, and don't fidget while you're talking or listening to another person.
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What do you sound like to your friends and family when you're trying to express your opinion or feelings? You should use an even, calm tone. You don't want to talk too softly or too loudly.
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Make sure that your facial expression matches how you're feeling. If you're sad about something and feel hurt by a friend, you don't want to be smiling when you try to explain your feelings. Your friend won't take you seriously.
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Many women try to take on too many responsibilities and become completely overwhelmed. If you need help from your family with dishes or child care, ask them in an assertive way. Don't apologize for needing help.
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If someone asks you to do something that you can't do or don't want to do, say no. If the PTA at your child's school asks you to bake 100 brownies for the upcoming fundraiser and you have a huge deadline at work, tell them you'll bake for the next one.
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Tips & Warnings
Value and respect your own opinions or others won't. You are just as valuable as everyone else and your feelings matter.
