How to Make a Relationship Work When There Is a Big Age Difference

Millions of couples with large age differences have successful relationships. Even though the age gap can create conflicts stemming from different values or power struggles, these problems do not have to be any more intense than the problems that same-age couples experience. In many ways, a big age difference can be a good thing, since it eliminates the competition that plagues many same-age couples.

Instructions

1. Realize that as more and more years go by, the size of the age gap becomes smaller in comparison to your ages. 15 years might seem huge when the couple is 25 and 40 years old, but it's not so huge when the couple is 50 and 65.

2. Be conscious that a relationship with a large age difference can easily slip into a parent-child relationship, if you aren't careful. The older partner should make an effort to avoid patronizing the younger partner, or make big decisions without the younger partner's input. The younger partner should develop self-reliance.

   If it does turn parent-child, there will be awkward periods of rebelling against authority.

3. Use caution when analyzing divorce statistics. On average, couples with large age differences do tend to divorce at higher rates, but keep in mind that this average is taken across all segments of the population. There are certain segments of the population that skew the divorce statistics, particularly those who have low levels of education, those who are already divorced, and those who marry under age 22.

   If you are in a marriage with a large age gap, but you are both college educated, it is a first-time marriage, and you are both over 22, your chances of divorce are much lower than the national average.

4. Be on the same page when it comes to having children. Often, the older partner hears the clock ticking, while the younger partner feels no rush since he or she is young. Or, sometimes the older partner is used to being childless and doesn't want to change, while the younger partner wants to start a family soon. Have these conversations before getting married.

5. No matter what the age difference, the key to maintaining a healthy relationship or marriage is open communication and compassion.