How to Ask for a Ride When You Are to Drunk to Drive

It can be embarrassing to approach casual friends or strangers when you have had too much to drink and know you probably should not drive. Although I do not drink and drive - period, ever - I have been out and about enough to know when people are to inebriated to drive and should pop the question.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Alcohol on your breath
• Slightly slurred speech
• A drunken, winning smile
• A basic command of the English language

1. Make and stick with the decision you are not going to drive because you know you are to drunk.

2. Survey the crowd in the bar or party or where ever you are. Do not stare but survey . .try to decide the first person you are going to confess to and ask for a ride.

3. Already have a backup plan, a second person in mind to ask in case the first person is distrusting, selfish or just to drunk them self and not about to admit it to anyone.

4. Wait for an opportune time to ask the first person. If you can catch them alone for a moment that would be great.

5. If you are a male do not approach the prettiest woman in the establishment. If you are a woman do not approach the cutest guy.

6. Take your car keys out of your pocket or purse and make your initial approach. Do not say a word. Extend your arm and hand your keys to the individual you have chosen. They will 9 times out of 10 take the keys from you. They will understand. Words are not yet required for this step screams clarity.

7. Now you can make your initial speech. "I shouldn't be driving. I am here alone and I've called everyone I know. I hate to ask you but can you help?"

8. This is when the person you have selected will make their bold move. It might come as a surprise to you but you should watch, and learn for chances are you have made the right choice.

9. "John - hey John! Can you call this guy a taxi - he's to drunk to drive home."

10. This is when the volume turns down in the establishment and you have that "Kodak" moment. Some people get 15 minutes of fame but you may in this case get only about thirty seconds. This is how long it will take everyone to figure out you really have had to much to drink and you reached out.

11. Should you be so pitiful as to not have enough money for a taxi, now is not the time to scurry back into your shell. You have come this far, might as well sing the rest of the aria. You can save a little face by explaining your grandfather is a millionaire who cut you out of his will for . . drinking to much? For something.

12. The real easy thing to do is plan ahead. Print this "How to" - make extra copies - and simply pass it around the establishment. That way you will barely have to say a word. Who knows, someone might even show a little respect to a drunk who had enough gumption to fess-up and do the right thing.

13. The final step of this how-to is to wake up the next day with a great big old smile on your face, knowing you did the right thing. Be proud of yourself, and oh, the aspirin are on the nightstand - right there beside you, dummy.

Tips & Warnings

• This article although tongue-in-cheek in no way is meant to ignore the tragic results of drunk driving across the world. The author hopes that by taking the "defensiveness" out of the subject that just one person reading this will do the right thing and ask for help when help is needed.

[aundybkoo]

on 1/15/2009 I have done this before.. you do feel silly but at least you're not going to kill anyone or hurt yourself... I still can't figure out why so many people think they should drive!!! Good article...

[argyle]

on 12/22/2008 So many people are too proud, embarrassed, or just don't think about doing this. The world would be a safer place if more people really read this article. Thanks!