How to Talk to Your Kids About S-E-X

Learn how to talk to your children about the important topic of sexuality.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Time
• Open mind
• Ears for listening
• Helpful resources

1. 
   Grown up with children

   Talk about sexuality from an early age. As parents, you are your children’s first and primary sexuality educators, whether you are talking about sexuality or not. Either way, you give a loud message to your child. They will learn from you whether or not it is ok to talk about all parts of bodies and their functions, and whether that is embarrassing and shameful or natural and normal.

2. 
   dictionary definition

   Use the proper names for all body parts, including genitalia. When children are infants, they often discover their genitalia at some point during the diaper changing process. What is your reaction? Is it matter of fact? Do you give them the name for that body part (breast, vulva) like you would if they found their nose? If you’re past this stage and wished you’d done it differently, no worries. The great thing about parenting is that issues come up again and again in different ways, so we get lots of practice to grow into how we want to be.

3. 
   Woman with book

   Find resources to help that you are comfortable with. Toddlers and preschoolers are often curious about their body parts and what they do. There are some books that can help with discussions, especially if you are uncomfortable saying words like anus and vagina with your young child. One is Belly Buttons are Navels by Mark Schoen, which discusses differences and similarities in boys’ and girls’ anatomies from noses to genitalia. Families are often having a second or subsequent child around the time they have a toddler in the home, so a natural opportunity for discussion arises. So That’s How I Was Born by Dr. Robert Brooks is a book about explaining reproduction to young children. For more resources for young children and also for preteens and teens, go to http://www.diligentjoy.com/resources.html. The important thing is to acknowledge any discomfort you may have, find some good resources that help you feel more comfortable, and begin the discussion in some way with your children.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep an open mind
• Be ready to use "teachable moments" when the topic comes up
• Stay true to your values
• Be specific
• Answer the questions they ask
• If you're nervous, practice reading or talking about it by yourself before talking with your child
• With young children, answer only what they ask. Let them ask more if they are curious. Be careful not to "over answer" the question.
• Check out all resources before you share them with your child to make sure you agree with what is being said or plan what to add.

[jull14]

on 6/28/2009 Thank so much for writing this beautiful article. As always a great article with so much information. Excellent steps and very easy to follow, thank you so much for helping us learn everyday more. This is a very good article, thanks