How to Determine Whether Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Working

You spend your weekends in planes or on the road, and your phone bill is higher than your rent. How do you figure out if your relationship is worth the effort?

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Modems
• Telephones
• Airline Tickets
• E-mail Accounts
• Computers

1. Ask yourself how much passion you feel for the other person. Do you eagerly anticipate visits, e-mail and phone calls? Or is making contact a chore?

2. Consider how much attention you give your partner. Do you return e-mail promptly? Do you call when you say you will?

3. Think about how your partner treats you. Is your partner putting as much effort into the relationship as you are? Do you feel cherished? Taken for granted? Neglected?

4. Consider how often you see each other. Do you visit as often as you can? If you frequently choose to spend your time and money on other priorities, you may need to question how important this relationship is to you.

5. Ask yourself whether you trust the other person. Do you feel suspicious about activities or friendships when you're apart? Trust is important in any relationship, but when you're far away, it's even more crucial.

6. Think about the way the two of you communicate. Are you honest and open with each other? Can you be yourselves when you're together? Do you share the day-to-day details of your lives?

7. Consider to what extent your lives are intertwined. Although you're bound to have separate social lives, it's a good sign if you know each other's new friends.

8. Be honest with yourself about why you're in this relationship. Are you motivated by a fear of being alone?

9. Consider your future plans. Do you discuss living in the same city in the future? Do you have a concrete strategy for achieving that?

10. Ask yourself whether your life apart from the other person is more interesting than being together. If so, it may be time to move on.

[lostsorrow]

on 5/6/2009 I been in a long distance relationship for 9 years now got 3 kids with him and we are still not married and still not living together need advise with this one. To me to make a long storie short lets just say im in a bad situtation and i been trying to work this out for years now and still feel like its getting worse each time. I been finding out this year alot of not good stuff that he has been doing to me i came down to see him cause he had a car accident i took him in the hospital and his brothers gf was in the hospital as well cause she broke her pelvic bone so when we came home he left me and the kids at the house telling me he was going to go see his brothers gf in the hospital . he never came home till that after noon in the next day never called me i found out he was with the another girl from his cousins gf's friend i was so angry and so upset i been finding out so much stuf...

[dweebstime2fly]

on 4/22/2009 Please contact [e-mail] thanks sorry the last message cut off the last of my comment.

[dweebstime2fly]

on 4/22/2009 I've been with this guy for almost 4 years on and off and people are constantly putting doubts in my mind as to whether or not he is faithful it's hard and I try talking to him about it and he seems to just jump down my throat it's making it hard for me to trust him he seems to keep things from me he says it's to protect me because he loves me. I miss him so much but he always seem preoccupied with other things it makes me wonder if he's going off me or whether I am good enough for him. I know he works hard and it's making me think I'm selfish when he's having problems/a bad/ long day/ he's at work etc and all I want to do is curl up in bed and talk to him on the phone am I being selfish?... He just seems to shut me out with 'I'm busy' he seems miserable and I have no idea why or how to help him, I love him so much but it shouldn't be this hard I need advise and if anyone can help me ple

[sexy16]

on 2/8/2009 I need some advice, I know my boyfriend is a playboy before,he always tells me that he have changed because of me,i easily get jealous, sometimes I caught him texting other girls, I actually answered one call from his girl friend.What should I do?as of now we are long distance relationship,we didnt communicate alot. wat should I do? Should I break up with him

[MinutesToHours]

on 1/9/2009 Mistrust is the greatest vice one can have. Your jealousy can overwhelm you. Distort the way you see things. Blur your perspective. It is the most potent of all poisons; your own love can blind you. This is the greatest danger to you and your relationship. If you become too clingy, if you are worried about that friend she is spending time with over the internet, she will pick up on it - and she will feel the mistrust. Just because she doesn't talk for hours on end with you like she used to, or doesn't say "Hi!" to you everyday anymore, does not mean she's forgotten about you. Hell, after a two year or so relationship, you're bound to begin taking each other for granted.

The night before i met my beuatiful girl for the first time, she was so sullen and tight with her words. I was afraid that she no longer wanted to meet me. I could not sleep. Paranoia seeped in. Why was she being so co