Step1
First, realize that there is a very good possibility you will know about your husband's illness before he does. Men are notoriously bad at taking care of themselves physically, and they also tend to be less intuitive than most women. Therefore, if you notice your hubby starting to act oddly, or if his voice sounds scratchy, or if he seems tired, take steps now to nip it in the bud. Get him to turn in earlier than usual. It's ok if you have to bait him with sex. Just get him to go to bed! The only thing worse than a sick, whining man is a sick, whining man who's also in a bad mood because he's tired.
Step2
Your husband may tell you point-blank he is not feeling well, but the more likely scenario is that he will not. He will, however, take steps to make sure you notice that he is ill. For example, if he wakes up feeling crappy, he may flop around restlessly, grunting and/or moaning. He will not stop until you acknowledge his discomfort. If your husband is already up and about when his illness strikes, he will most likely become mopey and grouchy. He may push food around on his plate. Take note of these symptoms, because they are the first sign that you have to stock up on certain supplies and brace yourself for a rough couple of days.
Step3
Assess the situation. First, determine if there are any events or a chores that he may be trying to get out of. If so, he may be faking it. Keep a sharp eye out for further clues, and have a punishment in mind, just in case. If there is no reason for him to be faking illness, ask him about his symptoms, and gather supplies accordingly. Nausea requires a bowl or bucket to catch any.... outpourings. A sore throat means cough drops. You get the idea.
Step4
Get him set up on the couch with a comfy blanket and the remote control.
Step5
Provide bland foods, like saltines, and put them within easy reach. Also provide ginger ale, tea or fruit juice. He doesn't need to be drinking soda, coffee, or alcohol when he's sick, he'll only dehydrate himself and make himself feel worse. Be firm on this.
Step6
Dose him with Tylenol, Aspirin, or Ibuprofen. Make sure he takes the maximum recommended dose, and encourage him to repeat as often as possible (per package directions, of course). If he's feverish or in pain, he'll make your life hell, so try to avoid this.
Step7
Leave the house (or at least the room) if possible. He probably needs the sleep, and you'll be ready for a break by this time.
Step8
When you return, enter quietly in case he's sleeping. Remember: sick men whine when they are awake. The goal is to encourage as much sleeping as possible. If he's already awake, though, ask if he needs anything. Refill drinks, restock saltines, and get him more cough drops or a cool washcloth. You don't have to jump at his every whim, but keep in mind that if you're nice to him now, he'll be nice to you, too, when you're feeling ooky.
Step9
Don't harass him. Don't bring up bills, stuff around the house that needs fixing, or your mother's impending visit. Help him get comfortable, then get away from him. He's probably already grouchy, so you'll just end up fighting. Plus, the more you hang out near him, the better the chance that you'll get sneezed on or puked on, and end up with the crud yourself.
Step10
If you think he's going to need a doctor, make the appointment for him. Many men, for whatever reason, are resistant to the idea. By the time he feels bad enough to actually go, there will be no openings. If your man is bigger than you and weak, dizzy, etc., it might be a good idea to bring a friend with you when you take him to the doctor's office, in case he falls or passes out. Yeesh.
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JRIngrisano said
on 3/18/2008 Tough call. But one of the realities