How to Avoid Killing Your Siblings

There are those moments when you want to kill your siblings. It could be due to sibling rivalry or merely the brother-sister relationship. Those moments of wanting to maim can hit you as a child or an adult, but the moments always arrive, off and on throughout life, and usually when you least expect it. In order to maintain that oh brother I love you status quo, or that dear sister what would I do without you fraudulent front, follow these steps and pray for the best!

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Endurance
• Ability to smile when you want to scream

1. You walk past him to get a bowl of ice cream when he reaches out and hits you, giving you a bruising frog on the arm. Your muscle spasms and you want to attack, but don’t. Smile, call him a name, and keep going. Don’t forget to make a wide circle around him when you go back to your seat.
2. For some reason unknown to man, there is always that sibling that feels the need to point out your flaws; the sister that points out your sagging belly at the family gathering. When this happens hit her where it hurts by reminding her that a belly is a sign of happiness, then smile and walk away.
3. Sometimes a sibling’s differences can make you crazy and almost believe you hate him. Remind yourself that life is made up of differences and if we were all the same we would be bored out of our minds. And remember, killing is illegal.
4. When that guy you’ve had a crush on asks you out and your brother gives him the, "If you screw my little sister speech," attempt to keep from blushing, clench your fists tightly, fold your arms across your chest so you won’t swing those fists, and turn your back. You may explain your brother’s stupidity to your date when you leave, but I’m sure it’s already obvious.
5. At a young age your older siblings will take your favorite toy and toss it to one another just high enough in the air that you can’t reach it. Instead of jumping up and down to achieve the impossible, leave the room, go to their room and find one of their favorite items. When you return, stay a good distance away but make sure they can see what you have, then run.
6. While you’re at the family cookout and your sister is running her mouth about everything that drives you crazy, smile and nod here and there while you are thinking of all the ways you would like to snuff her out!
7. Your sister’s hot friend is visiting so you decide to make nice and hang around with them for a while. You’re in the room only 2 minutes when your sister tells her friend an embarrassing story about you. Don’t panic and don’t kill her!

Tips & Warnings

• Keep smiling. It drives them crazy.
• No matter how bad you want to kill them, remember that prison is not where you want to be.