How to Survive a Spouse's Military Deployment

Preparing for your spouse's deployment, especially your first, is emotionally draining. Not only are they leaving for a period of time, they are very likely going into harm's way. These thoughts, along with the uncertainty of when and how you will communicate, can be overwhelming. Surviving a deployment at home is very possible, though. Once you begin your journey, you'll find strength you didn't know you had.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Letters
• Care packages

1. Express your concerns about the risks of deployment and the responsibilities you will take on once your spouse has deployed. Schedule special time to do this instead of letting your emotions dictate when you talk. Your spouse is feeling pressure, too, and they need to be able to express those concerns to you.
2. Attend briefings for spouses and families, if offered, prior to the deployment. Getting information about how to contact your spouse, what to do in an emergency and meeting other families in your spouse's unit will help diminish some of your anxiety.
3. Become involved with other spouses in your unit, or at least keep in contact with them, during the deployment. If you should need their support throughout the deployment, you will feel more comfortable if you have been talking to them.
4. Decide to be positive before phone calls with your spouse. Be honest about emotions, but tell him how you solved a situation instead of how frustrated you were by the situation. Show him how much you need him, but tell them that you are getting by on your own, as well.
5. Send letters on a weekly basis, and care packages once a month. Letters and packages can take some time to get to your spouse, so if you are able to communicate by email or phone, make sure your letters aren't repeating information you have already told your spouse. Make letters about personal things, and keep family updates and everyday life for phone calls and emails.
6. Stay informed about current events. Watching the news is a great way to do this, but remember that sensational stories make the news, and this is not always a good depiction of real life.
7. Allow yourself time to get used to being away from your spouse, and don't feel bad when you wake up one day and feel better. It doesn't mean you don't love or need them, it just means you are stronger than you think!

Tips & Warnings

• Other military spouses will know how you are feeling better than many of your long-time friends, because they are feeling it too. They don't have to be your best friend, but you may need a friendly voice when no one else in your life seems to understand your situation.
• Deployments make for tired people, so don't be offended when the tone of your spouse's voice on the phone is less than enthusiastic. It doesn't mean they don't miss you, it just means they need some sleep!
• It is normal to feel sad and lonely from time to time, but if your mood gets worse or you notice you are letting things go, you may be showing signs of depression. Talk to your doctor immediately if you think you are suffering from depression.