How to Keep a Family Bond During a Military Deployment

Creating a family bond under normal circumstances can be challenging, but creating one during a military deployment is even more difficult. You and your children will be going through a range of emotions, and you will probably not be on the same page most of the time. Plan ahead and create daily routines that will help your family deal with the temporary loss of a family member during deployment.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Letters
• Pictures

1. Maintain existing routines as much as possible. Children and adults need consistency to deal with the emotional side of deployment.
2. Insist that children keep up with their normal chores and school work, but don’t overload them with too many additional tasks that were done by the deployed family member. They have enough to deal with.
3. Make breakfast and dinner a family affair. Use this time to discuss your day and monitor your children’s emotions.
4. Dedicate one evening a week to write letters or emails to the deployed family member. Include pictures and drawings, and ask for pictures in return. Pictures allow children, and spouses, to visualize where the deployed family member is and what they are doing.
5. Read letters and emails from the deployed family member together. Getting a letter or email is exciting and hard not to open immediately, but reading it as a family will help create that bond, and may spark conversations that help you understand what your children are feeling.
6. Keep current pictures of the deployed family member displayed, and give your children pictures to keep with them or display in their bedrooms.
7. Talk about what you will do as a family when the deployment is over. Always stay positive and plan ahead as if everyone is safely at home.

Tips & Warnings

• Don’t get angry with your children if they seem disinterested by letters or discussions about the missing family member. They need to express their emotions in their own way and in their own time.
• Let everyone put their own unique gift in care packages, but send it off together as a family.
• If you feel family counseling is necessary, contact the Family Support Center on your base if you are active duty, or go through the Family Assistance Center set up for your reserve unit. Links to all specific military installations can be found at military.com.