How to Identify the Early Warning Signs of a Disastrous Relationship
You thought he was nice when you first started going out with him, but now your boyfriend seems controlling, argumentative, and a general "jerk". You are confused because he seemed so charming in the beginning. Underneath all his initial charm, he also probably exhibited some warning signs that he would turn into a real jerk later. Read this article to find out ways to identify the early warning signs of a disastrous relationship.
- Difficulty:
- Challenging
Instructions
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Decisions. Watch out for the "I know best syndrome". If your boyfriend makes every decision, then expect him to want to be in control all the time. If you really don't think your opinion counts for anything, then continue the relationship and follow his every order.
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Money. Make sure he doesn't have "I forgot my wallet syndrome". This happens when a guy pays for everything at the beginning of a relationship but then gradually starts to forget his wallet all the time. If you say anything about him never having any money, he says "I spend lots of money on you, remember that fancy restaurant I took you too?" You know the last time he took you out to eat was four months ago.
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Friends. Be careful of the "You don't want to meet my friends syndrome". If he really liked you then he wouldn't mind introducing you to his buddies. If he will not let you meet his friends then he's either not planning on keeping you around very long or he's up to no good with his friends.
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Consistency. Observe whether he treats you the same in front of his friends, family, and when you are alone. You want him to treat you with respect all the time. If he doesn't treat you well in front of his friends then he probably cares more about "looking cool" than about you.
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Public. Watch out for the guy with "loose cannon syndrome". This guy will raise his voice in public and cause a scene when he gets angry. If he does this in public, eventually he will start loosing his temper with you as well.
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Watch out for the guy with "lazy tunnel vision syndrome". This guy will watch you do all the chores without offering to help. He will also never notice if anything needs to be fixed or cleaned. He will, however, occasionally notice something that needs to get done- and ask you to do it.
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Parents. Be careful of "poor me, its all my parents fault" syndrome. Even if he had a rough childhood you want him to be able to take responsibility for the way that he is. If he still insists on blaming all his problems on his parents then you can expect him to revert to self-pity rather than taking responsibility for many things he does.
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Past Relationships. Pay attention to "All my ex-girlfriends are crazy syndrome". This guy probably has a problem accepting responsibility for his actions. If things ever go sour with you two, then expect him to go around telling people how crazy you are.
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Wandering eye. Does he have the "I look at every girl that walks by syndrome"? If he looks at every girl that walks by then his mind is still looking for something better than you. It is natural to glance at other people, but he doesn't need to be eyeing other girls when he's out with you. In fact, this behavior indicates he may be a possible cheater. Intensively eyeing other girls is a form of flirting.
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White Lies. Watch out for the "I had to change my story because..." syndrome. This guy may tend to tell the same story with different details around different people. He may explain himself by saying "I just didn't want my one friend to know the part about [fill in story detail here]." Eventually, you can expect him to change his story with you as well. Be careful, however, this type of "white-lie" can be difficult to spot.
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Alcohol. Look out for "Oops I got drunk" syndrome. This guy routinely gets wasted when you go out and always claims that it was an accident. If he likes to drink, that is fine, but if he can't even admit that he chooses to get wasted- then he may have a problem with alcohol. Steer clear. Alcohol abuse and relationships do not mix.
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Commitment phobia. Look out for "I do not ever want to get married" syndrome. Sure, he may stay in a relationship with you for a few months or maybe even a year. But this guy is afraid of commitment. Before you get invovled with someone afraid of commitment, be realistic with your expectations. If you want a relationship with the potential to last for a long time, stay away from the guy afraid of commitment.
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Tips & Warnings
These "syndromes" can be very hard to identify early in the relationship. You need to pay close attention to any signs of this type of behavior.
