How to Best Spend Your Time During College Basketball Commercial Breaks

Team timeouts, halftime, official timeouts. There will be several moments for you to reflect upon the game at hand. OK, forget reflecting; you must act immediately.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Serving Platters
• Salsas
• Telephones
• Popcorn
• Chips
• Beer

1. Anticipate the commercials, skip the last few seconds of the commentators' banter and be the first to dash for the bathroom.
2. Get another beer or your nonalcoholic beverage of choice.
3. Call distant friends in your pool and gloat if your team is ahead.
4. Turn off the phone if your team is losing.
5. Argue with your pals about the direction of the game, who is the most valuable player, whether the refs should all schedule eye exams, and who amongst you could spend 2 minutes on that court without suffering complete humiliation.
6. Refill the pretzel bowl, replace the dip container, make more popcorn, open another bag of chips, put on a pot of refried beans and melted cheese, and get out the salsa.
7. Watch every commercial and construct a system for rating the excellence of each advertisement. Award points for relevance, cohesion, most beautiful babe or stud, etc.
8. Play rock-paper-scissors to decide who goes on a beer - or nonalcoholic beverage - run.
9. Log on to NCAAsports.com for continually updated stats on all current tournament games.

Tips & Warnings

• The most spectacular jumpers, boards, dunks and turnovers historically occur during the brief moments when fans exit to the kitchen for more supplies. Stock the living room well, bringing in a temporary refrigerator or shelving unit if necessary, or perhaps hiring a barbecued ribs 'n' chicken joint to cater your affair.