How to Deal With a Needy Coworker

There are more professional ways to deal with a needy employee.

Every employee has her own set of personal issues. Most employees are able to turn their personal concerns off long enough to focus on the job they've been hired to perform. For those who are unable to compartmentalize their lives, the workplace can become their own counseling center, the place and people they turn to for emotional support. Working with a needy person can sap you of energy and rob you of your ability to focus on your job.

Instructions

1. Ask yourself if the neediness is emotional or business-related. If it's related to his job, illustrated by such issues as repeatedly asking the same questions and acting frustrated by simple tasks, talk to your supervisor about finding assistance for him. It may be that he's simply overwhelmed by the learning curve involved and could benefit from one-on-one mentoring or streamlining his job responsibilities.

2. Pull back long enough to disconnect your emotions. It's difficult to feel anything but sympathy when you hear about a coworker who is going through a divorce or a difficult situation with her children. It can be hard to hear that someone is having trouble paying her bills. Still, it's important that you not become sucked into a situation before fully assessing what you want your role to be. With a little distance, you may realize that you simply don't have the energy or skills to help an especially needy coworker. Give yourself time to determine how much you're willing to invest.

3. Don't enable a needy coworker by doing his job. If you honestly have the time to perform your own job and offer aid to your coworker, by all means, feel free to do so. However, do not get caught up in a dramatic story to the point that you feel responsible for carrying your coworkers' duties. Your employer pays each employee for his contributions. Although you can carry more than one job for a short period, resentment can build up over time. Nip that frustration in the bud by allowing your needy coworker to do his own job.

4. Draw clear boundaries. The moment your coworkers neediness infringes upon your ability to properly perform your job, you know there's a problem. Linda Pophal, owner/CEO of Strategic Communications, suggests drawing those boundaries early in the relationship. There is no need to be rude. For example, you might say, "I understand that you're going through a tough time. However, I am the kind of person who needs to focus all my energy on my job in order to perform it well. If I seem disinterested in what's going on, it's only because I need to focus on my job."

5. Suggest other people for your needy coworker to turn to for help. It may be that a needy coworker needs help that you are not qualified to provide. If you feel close to this person, suggest that she talk to someone about all that's going on in her life. That professional can be anyone from a licensed counselor to a minister.

References

• Health Information: Dealing With Difficult Personalities at Work
• Office Politics: Need Coworker
• BNET: Needy Team Members Making You Crazy? Try Some Tough Love