Learning to Read Body Language for Couple Counseling

Introduction

Couple counseling can be used to fix problems in a marriage or to allow engaged couples to know if they are well suited. Couple counseling can be performed by psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and religion officiates. To effectively counsel a couple, the counselor must pay attention to the nonverbal communication as much as the words they are saying. A person's body language can not lie, and it is a direct mirror to see what a person is feeling inside. Body language among couples is an important aspect to be observed in couple counseling.

Why Body Language is Important

Just listening to what a couple is saying is not the most effective way to gauge the problems in their relationship. People don't always offer important information about their relationship to outsiders. They could be embarrassed or afraid of hurting the partner's feelings by voicing what is truly felt. Another reason why someone isn't completely honest with a counselor is denial. Many people are so worried about the relationship failing that they will talk themselves into feelings they do not have. Their minds may say things that contradict what is truly in their hearts. This is where body language comes in. It shows the truth of the heart.

Reading Body Language

The first thing to access is how close the couple sits together. The closer they are, the closer their hearts are to each other. A couple who truly cares for each other usually evades each other's personal space. Notice how aligned their bodies are. Truly happy couples will mirror each other in posture and stance; this shows they are on the same page. Mix-matched body alignments show that one person may be more into the relationship than the other. Notice how they look at each other. Raised chins indicate animosity of some sort. If they can't look at each other in the eye without some type of scowl or serious look mean, they could have some type of tension between them.

You can also find out who is the most dominate person in the relationship by watching movements. If the man moves a few steps in front of the woman or puffs his chest away from her, he is exerting his power. If a woman keeps her hand on the man's shoulder, or lays her arm over it, she is the most dominate person in the relationship.

Couples who have complete closeness are easy to notice. They touch each other constantly and fix each other's hair and/or clothes. The man keeps his hand on the woman's lower back. They both look at each other and listen when the other is speaking. All of their attention will be given to each other; this shows they are interested in every aspect of the other person.

A couple's body language can contradict each other. If the woman's body is turned toward the man, but he is turned away from her, she is into him more than he is into her. Often, a woman holds onto the man or clings to his arm, while he doesn't reciprocate those movements and dangles his arm; this shows he doesn't mirror her feelings.

Resources

• Learn Body Language