- Is your separation warranted? Both parties should ask themselves this pivotal question before deciding to split. Separations often occur because of a clash of wills or personalities, infidelity, issues with parenting or finances. Whatever the cause, examine your relationship carefully and see if the marriage is worth saving. It's no secret that physical, mental or emotional abuse often leads to separation and divorce, and with good reason. However, there are times when your initial decision may not be the right decision, and after deeply thinking about the issue, you realize that a separation may not be in you or your spouse's best interest. Think carefully, and ensure that a separation is what you truly want.
- If you have decided that you no longer want to live with your spouse, but you do not want to end the marriage, you can get a legal separation. However, simply moving out of the home does not mean a legal separation--you must petition the courts to grant you one. You and your spouse can create and sign a separate agreement which outlines child support payments, living arrangements and spousal support. In some states, you must enlist the services of an attorney who will submit an application to the courts to make your separation agreement binding. To qualify for a legal separation, you must already be separated from your spouse due to no fault of your own. The process and cost for a legal separation is generally the same as a divorce. Additionally, Florida, Georgia, Delaware, Mississippi, Texas and Pennsylvania do not recognize legal separations. Keep in mind that if you are separated from your spouse yet continue to have sexual relations with her, you may be jeopardizing your grounds for divorce if you choose to file later on.
- Marriage counseling is not overrated. Many couples have overcome turbulent times in their marriage through counseling. A marriage counselor can be an excellent arbitrator, offering an unbiased view of your situation. Many separations are the result of rash decisions, and through counseling, the underlying issues can be brought to the fore and resolved in an unprejudiced environment. Most marriage counselors are trained and have the necessary experience to effectively handle the different personalities that encompass a marriage. Your counselor can teach you and your spouse patience, understanding and self-awareness. Therefore, though some marriages cannot be saved due to harsh circumstances, many separations can be reconciled.
