How to Tell Your Wife You've Had an Affair

Video Transcript

"Hi, I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources. Today we're going to be talking about marriage relationship issues, in particular, how do you tell your wife that you had an affair? Well, hopefully this is something that you won't ever have to do but just what's the best way to communicate to your wife that you've had an affair? Well first of all this is not good news but you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences. You also need to have thought through what is it that you want long term? Do you want to stay together or is divorce, perhaps, in the view? So, be prepared for the consequences and the impact is going to vary, whether or not it's been a one time thing or whether it's been an ongoing affair or perhaps who it was with because, perhaps, if you've had an affair with her girlfriend, this can really create more issues on top of the bad news, in general. So, be respectful, be empathetic and understand that this is a very difficult time for her and the very difficult news, catastrophic news. Try and present the message in the way that you'd like to be treated, you have to be respectful but also, try and minimize the impact to her. You have to say that you're sorry and that the behaviors that you've engaged in, will not be undertaken again. Also, be prepared that you're going to have a long road of healing that you'll undergo, to bring the relationship together, hopefully you can bring the relationship back on track. If you go to counseling, to workshops, perhaps, you can regain your wifes trust at some point in time. It's going to be an effort to rebuild the relationship but it can be done. A lot of couples have successfully overcome this and actually have become stronger as a part of that. Also have to recognize that sometimes wifes are not going to be that forgiving, even a one time thing may not be forgiven so be prepared for the consequences of your actions and understand that it's your responsibility. That's the way that we communicate the bad news that we've had an affair. I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources, Relationships for Life."