How to Forgive & Forget

Video Transcript

"You may not be one of the saints of the world, but how to forgive and forget. This is Dr. Paul, author of "Boomer Girls: a Boomer Woman's Guide to Men and Dating", and host of Ask Dr. Paul. How to forgive and forget? That's a tough one, because often times we can forgive, but we never forget; many of us are vindictive, if not consciously, then subconsciously, and we start utilizing what we call passive-aggressive behavior. That's pretty tough. It's difficult to come back and say, "Ok, I'm going to forgive this person and I'm going to forget." However, I have to be quite candid with you; it depends on the degree of that item that was committed. If it's, on a scale of 10, if it's a 5, you might be able to forgive and forget, ok. Number 10 is the mother superior of all sins, if you will, and that's cheating on your significant other. Somewhere between 5 and 10, you know, there's a 6 and a 7. Maybe at that 7.5 level, you'll say, "You know, I'll forgive you, but I'm not going to forget." Somebody lied to you; that may be a 9 to you or an 8. So from 1 to 6, if you want to measure it, there is forgive and forget. And quite honestly, it makes you feel better to forgive someone. Because guess what, you might need to have some forgiveness yourself at some point. All right? And you might need to have somebody forget about some things at some point. But only you can decide what is forgetful and what is forgivable. Some things are not. I know, many counselors out there say, "Well, we can all forgive and forget." No, you can't. You heard it from Dr. Paul. I've had thousands of women call my show, and they have told me repeatedly what's forgivable, and what is not forgivable. You only can make that choice for yourself. And forgetting, too. If you're going to forgive, you may as well forget, because it will eat at you and eat at you and you don't need that. This is Dr. Paul. May your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow."