How to Make Amends After a Breakup in a Relationship

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One of the key things you need to learn how to do in a relationship is find out how to properly make amends. Make amends after a breakup in a relationship with help from a longtime practicing therapist in this free video clip.

Part of the Video Series: Marriage Problems & Solutions
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Video Transcript

Hi, I'm David Simonsen with I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist in the Seattle area, and a lot of times I work with couples that have been separated and they ask me, "How can I make amends in a breakup or in a relationship?" So, there's two ways I think you can go about making amends. And, and I, I think you need to ask yourself why are you going about to, why do you want to make an amends 'cause make an amends is by making things right with somebody. And so, you need to seriously consider why you're doing that. So, the first reason that you make amends I think is because you've treated someone horribly and you really feel remorse. And so, going to that person and asking for their forgiveness is a great way to make amends. Now, I guess what is your purpose; is your purpose to get back in the relationship with them or is it just because you feel bad as a person and you want them to just make things right? The second reason that a person would make amends is because you just want to make things right as a person. You don't want to be awkward around that person when you see him in the future setting and so, again, a way to make things right and a way to make amends with somebody is to go to them and just be specific about the topic. "I'm sorry that this happened." "I'm sorry for my part in this." And then, if they don't forgive you, that's on them. You've done what you've needed to do to make things right with this other person and you can go along and feel okay with that.


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