Verbal Abuse Characteristics
Verbal abuse can be as damaging to its victim as a physical blow, and it can take longer to heal. It might be loud, angry and overt, or subtle and gently demeaning. In the end, a victim can begin believing that she is worthless and always wrong.
Other People Are Reading
-
Frequency
-
Verbal abuse often begins on a small scale and is sometimes disguised as humor in the beginning. Then it increases in frequency and severity. The abuser may never pass the point of hurting you only with words, or he may begin using physical intimidation tactics as well, such as shoving, pushing or tripping you.
Unpredictable Outbursts
-
A verbal abuser's greatest tool is catching you off guard. You can't think clearly enough to even begin to try to defend yourself. Verbal abuse frequently manifests itself in unforeseen shouts, accusations and name-calling. It can leave you constantly tense and walking on eggshells because you can't predict when it might happen again.
-
Feigned Concern
-
Abusers are not always loud bullies. They sometimes present themselves as the good guy, full of concern for you because you just can't do anything right. An abuser might express worry for you and how you would ever manage to get along if he was not there to fix your mistakes and keep you on the right path. He may seem sincere, genuinely pained for you because of your shortcomings. His goal is to make you believe that you can't leave him because you could never make it on your own.
Implied Threats
-
Verbal abuse is almost always about control and getting you to act or behave in a way that is acceptable to your abuser. Your partner may frequently mention that you won't like the result if you don't do what she asks, especially when what she is asking is something she knows is distasteful or unpleasant for you.
Humiliation Tactics
-
An abuser doesn't want you to have outside support or even try to reach out for it. A frequent characteristic of verbal abuse is belittling the victim in public, or in the company of family and friends. This might take the form of repeating an unfortunate "mistake" you made, discounting your opinions, or talking over you, stealing the conversation back to himself whenever you try to join the conversation. He might openly criticize your abilities, even your personality traits.
Denial
-
Most abusers will not acknowledge that what they are doing to you is abuse, especially if they have never resorted to physical violence. If you try to object that the way you're being treated isn't acceptable, your abuser may act like you're crazy and maintain that you haven't been hurt. Your abuser can be convincing, until even you believe it.
-
References
- Photo Credit angry image by Mitarart from Fotolia.com
