How to Handle a Friend Who Competes With You
Friendships are not always what they seem. Sometimes friendships have aspects to them that are not apparent on the surface. One such aspect of friendship can be competition. While friendly competition is a natural part of friendships between people of all ages, it can become a problem when you or the friend become too competitive. If you have a friend that you feel is competitive to the point of potentially destroying your friendship, try to get the problem under control before it becomes worse.
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Walk Away
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Walk away from an overly competitive situation. Instead of buying into your friend's overly competitive spirit, step away when it becomes a problem. For example, if you are both part of the soccer team and you notice that your friend starts getting a competitive attitude before a game, warm up or talk with other teammates instead of her. Walking away from an overly competitive friend can make all the difference when trying to eliminate the competition in your friendship.
Remain Friendly
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Be the better person and maintain a friendly demeanor. An occasional compliment or nice gesture toward your friend can show her that you are not interested in being competitive. When you do not fight back against competition through harsh words or actions, eventually your friend will realize that his competitive nature does not get the desired reaction out of you.
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Discuss the Problem
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Sometimes talking is all you need to do to repair a competitive friendship. Have a talk with your friend about where your friendship is going. Tell your friend that you feel that the friendship is going in a direction you do not feel comfortable with. During your talk, give examples of times that you did not feel comfortable or when you left the situation feeling upset. Let your friend know that the reason you are discussing the situation is because you want to save the friendship before it becomes too late.
Help Yourself
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Do what you feel is best for yourself. When you stop looking at each situation as a competition, the pressure to be the best or do the best lessens. After awhile, that feeling of competitiveness between you and your friend may leave. Another option is to simply ignore your friend's competitive spirit. When he starts acting competitive, pretend that you do not notice.
Leave the Friendship
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If your friend continues being competitive after you have voiced your feelings, it might be time to back away from the friendship for awhile. You do not have to lose your friend. Let your friend know that you want a timeout. Find other friends or hobbies to busy yourself. After some time has passed, try talking to the friend again and see if you can resume the friendship. Not all friendships work out. When one person simply does not understand how the other person feels, it can be damaging. If your friend is not open to talking, does not understand your feelings and refuses to stop being competitive, leaving the friendship may help you feel less pressure or stress.
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