How to Tell Your Neighbor the Music's Too Loud

You don't want to rock the boat or tip the neighborhood canoe, but you do want to be able to sleep in on Saturdays. With a tactful approach, you can achieve your goal.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Start by smiling. Catch your neighbor's eye when he heads out in the morning or give him a friendly nod when he comes home.

2. Get to know this person if you don't already. What's his name? Where does he work? How long has he lived on your street?

3. Try to make pleasant chitchat and find a common interest'sports? gardening? movies?

4. Mention, in an offhand way, that you can hear his music from your house. Tell him it sometimes wakes you up. For many people, this will be enough to let them know that their behavior needs to change.

5. Wait a week or two to see what happens.

6. Mention in a more direct way that you'd like the volume lower. Be clear and specific with your request - and don't forget to be friendly.

7. Find out if other neighbors are bothered, if no change happens, and ask them to mention it, too.

8. Consider soliciting the help of one of his friends on the block - he might be willing to heed the complaint from someone closer.

9. Wait a week or two to avoid creating a conflict that could become hostile.

10. Escalate if you must: Write a letter, solicit legal advice or call the police. These methods up the conflict ante, so use them with care.

Tips & Warnings

• If you establish friendly relations with the people in your neighborhood at the outset, it's easier to make requests of them when the need arises.

• In general, being friendly and direct will get you much better results than being hostile.

• This is your neighbor - someone you might see every day for a long time to come - so make sure you act tactfully and thoughtfully. You don't want to come home to a feud every day.