How to Deal With an Ex Getting Married

When an ex-partner gets married, it can result in a lot of difficult feelings.

Divorces or breakups are always painful and stressful. After you part ways with your significant other, you face the prospect of creating your own independent path, which can be exciting and enjoyable, but may also cause emotional distress. In many cases after partners have ended a relationship, one or both of them will have a relationship that results in marriage. Being prepared to handle the difficult feelings associated with this event can be an important part of managing this transition.

Instructions

1. Give yourself time and space to experience and reflect on any difficult feelings this marriage brings up for you. It's important not to avoid these feelings. Activities like journaling, talking with friends, or even attending a peer support group can help you confront your anger and sadness so that they do not weigh you down or cause you excessive emotional difficulties.

2. Block your ex-partner from any social networking sites you use frequently. This will help you avoid the temptation to check his activities and look through pictures. You can also control the pictures that are shared with your account so you don't receive unwanted photos or news through mutual friends. The popularity of social networking sites makes it easy to get a glimpse of someone's life, but you should be trying to distance yourself from your ex and move forward to form your own identity.

3. Avoid comparing yourself with your ex's new spouse. Every relationship is unique, and it is impossible to know why this one resulted in marriage and yours did not. If you get caught up in analyzing the situation or drawing comparisons between the two of you, it is likely you'll be hard on yourself, which won't support your self-esteem. If you find yourself thinking too much about the marriage, try to refocus your mind on a pleasurable activity, or do a relaxing activity such as yoga or deep breathing.

4. Dedicate yourself to a personal goal or project. Spend time socializing with friends, date, and do something for yourself. You may want to enroll in a cooking class you always wanted to take or volunteer in a hospital. The idea is to expand your activities and develop something new in your life so you will have the chance to experience your own growth and change. Over time, you will see that these new experiences without your ex have allowed you to evolve in a way that you wouldn't have if you'd remained in the relationship.

References

• CNN: When Your First Love Gets Married; Amelia McDonnell-Perry; September 2009
• Cosmopolitan; "I'm Always the One Before the One"; Julia Allison