How to Detect Passive-Aggressive Personalities

Passive-aggressive behavior can go on for years because there is no direct confrontation.

The Mayo Clinic defines passive-aggressive behavior as the expression of hostility or negative feelings in an indirect way, rather than through direct confrontation. Passive-aggressive behavior allows the person to express displeasure without taking responsibility for it, and this type of behavior also allows them to put responsibility for negative outcomes on another person. This type of behavior can be extremely controlling; recognizing when it is occuring is an important part of staying emotionally healthy.

Instructions

1. Listen for intangible complaints. One of the symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior is that the person does not attack direct, concrete occurrences or incidents, but instead makes vague complaints of feeling cheated or unappreciated.

2. Watch how the person performs things that you ask him to do. If he does not want to perform the task, he will not say no, but he might instead do the task ineffectively or with a bad attitude. He may forget to do the task at all or claim that he forgot.

3. Look for signs of withdrawal or sullenness. If someone who is passive-aggressive has failed to do something or has not gotten her way, her response is to withdraw from others and retreat into herself.

4. Listen to the person when he talks and notice how often he uses cynicism or sarcasm. Both cynicism and sarcasm are distancing tools, allowing the passive-aggressive person to cause conflict and to be derogatory about the things around him under the guise of humor.

5. Look at the life the person in question is leading. Passive-aggressive behavior leads to little motivation and an environment of chaos, as the person refuses to take responsibility but refuses to allow others to be fully effective.

6. Listen for complaints that undermine the achievements or accomplishments of others. Passive-aggressive people are insecure, and they knock other people down because of it.

References

• Mayo Clinic; Passive-Aggressive Behavior -- What Are the Red Flags?; Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D.
• Depression Doctor; Passive-Aggressive Personality