How Can I Tell If Someone I'm Dating Is Lying Over the Internet?

The anonymity of the Internet encourages some would-be love connections to be based on lies.

The Internet has connected millions of people in ways they otherwise might never have thought possible. For those with busy lives who have not found that special someone, online dating sites are increasingly becoming a viable option to attracting your soul mate. However, there are some dangers of online dating that are often associated with the potential for digital anonymity. If you suspect that someone you are dating online is lying, look for some clues in her behavior.

Instructions

1. Look for patterns in the person's behavior and in your conversations. This will allow you to establish a baseline of his normal behavior. If he often strays from this baseline, it is possible that he is lying. This technique is used on lie detector tests; the tester asks a few simple questions to gauge his reaction. By the time the tester asks serious questions about the potential lie, he should have some sense about his reaction speed and behavior when he's telling the truth. The same principle can be applied to online dating.

2. Check for inconsistencies in what the person is saying. This goes along with detecting areas where she strays from baseline behavior. For example, if she claims she was alone at the gym at nine o'clock last night, but later talks about a conversation she had with a friend at the same time, she has been likely caught in a lie. Still, offer her the opportunity to defend her statement. If the story becomes convoluted and sounds fabricated, it likely is.

3. Ask questions that subtly test his knowledge. If he struggles coming up with this information, or if he gives outright wrong information, it is possible that he cannot be trusted. For example, if he says he is a vegetarian, you might ask him about his opinion on a vegetarian cookbook or for a few of his favorite vegetarian-friendly restaurants in his community. If he cannot offer this information, this might be a red flag.

4. Save messages you share with this person online to share with friends. If you speak via a personal messaging system, copy and paste the information into a word processing program, and save or print for future reference. This is a handy resource for cross-checking information she offers to you for inconsistencies that indicate that she is probably lying.

5. Visit any message boards, forums and social networking sites that he regularly visits. Review his latest postings and double-check that the information he puts forth in these arenas jibes with what he has been saying to you. Most people are guilty of some sort of exaggeration in these forums, but repeated lies or inconsistencies may suggest that he is not to be trusted.

References

• Life Training Online: How to Read People: Detecting Lies