How to Recover From Childhood Abandonment & Neglect


You have managed to survive up until now, having overcome obstacles that other people might have found too much. Therefore, you should be proud of your strength of character. Your experiences have probably even made you a strong person and one who is able to empathize with others. Nevertheless, you may struggle at times with the after-effects of your childhood. This is understandable. It is better for your future if you can manage to think about what happened, deal with your feelings and then move on. It will then be possible for you to have a bright future.

  • Allow yourself to feel angry; you have a perfect right to this feeling. Grieve for your lost childhood. You may feel your loss most acutely when you see children and families that seem happy together. However, determine that you are not going to remain stuck with this feeling forever. You are owed happiness and peace of mind, and decide you will do your best to achieve this. Talk to trusted friends about your experience. People who have had a traumatic childhood often keep it a secret. You have no reason to feel shame.

  • Seek help. Speak to your physician if you feel low in mood or engage in self-destructive behavior, such as substance or alcohol abuse, or self-harming. Ask your doctor to refer you to an appropriately experienced and qualified counselor or therapist. Talk to this person as much as you can. This will help to bring deep-seated pain to the fore and will enable you to overcome it.

  • Find out the reasons for what happened to you, if this is possible and you feel that you can confront it. You may, for instance, discover that your parents were victims of circumstances or were unable to cope with parenthood for some reason. This knowledge may help you. If you can forgive them, it may take some of the intensity out of your pain. If this is not possible, tell yourself that the most important thing is that your whole life is not blighted.

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