How to Deal With a Needy Older Sister
Having a sister is truly a gift. Not only do you have a friend for life, you have someone who has always got your back. You have someone permanently in your life who understands what it was like to grow up in your particular family. Your sister has seen you change and should appreciate the person you are now. However, if you have a needy older sister, it can indeed put you in an awkward situation. On one hand, you love her and would do anything for her, on the other hand you need to set boundaries and live your life.
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Instructions
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Say "no" when you want to and with greater regularity. For example, if your older sister wants you to babysit, but you already have plans, don't cancel your plans to help her out, just because you're sisters.
Saying no will force her to find a reliable babysitter, which is something she probably needs to do anyway.
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Stop putting her needs before your own. If you arrive home from a long day at work and all you feel like doing is recharging in a bubble bath with a glass of wine, don't drop those plans because she calls and needs to have an hour long chat about her love life.
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Ask her to listen to you and your concerns. Needy people have a way of forcing you to be the listener for long, long stretches of time. Interrupt her and say things like, "Let me tell you about my day" or "I have a problem I'd like your advice on".
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Reinforce the idea that your sister has other people who care about her. Your older sister might say things like, "You're the only one who understands" or "You're the only one who cares." Don't let her believe this and point out other people she can lean on.
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Examine your own behavior to stop indulging the neediness. If you like to feel needed or like it when she asks for your advice or help, you could be encouraging this behavior.
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Tips & Warnings
A characteristic of needy behavior is the need for others to agree with their opinions. Don't do this unless you genuinely do agree.
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