How to Help Children Deal With a Father's Absence From the Home

Dealing with an absent father in a household can take its toll on children. Not only are they missing a crucial part of the nuclear family structure, but also it is extra stressful on the sole parent shouldering the responsibility of two. It is important to take advantage of all available resources to ensure that the absence of a male parent does not adversely affect your children, and to help them understand that his absence is not their fault.

Instructions

1. Allow them to express their feelings regarding their father's absence. Talk to them about how they feel about it, and sometimes just sit back and listen to what they have to say. Answer questions as honestly as you can for what is age-appropriate. Allow them to talk about it as many times as they need to in order to feel resolved about the situation.

2. Provide healthy outlets with which to work through their emotions. Sports are great outlets for kids to express their frustrations, as are various other hobbies. Because the absence of a father can be frustrating, embarrassing and generally upsetting to a child, they need to have a place to vent those feelings physically.

3. Provide them with other male role models to which they can look for father-like guidance. This might be sports coaches, religious leaders, community mentors and other family and friends. Make sure your children each get one-on-one time with their male role models, and encourage their role models to be as active in your children's lives as possible.

4. Encourage them to look forward without letting this directly affect their future plans. Some kids become stunted emotionally because of the lack of father in their daily lives, and they allow it to affect their decision-making and future plans. Encourage them to develop their potential as best they can, despite their lack of male presence in the home.

References

• Shared Parenting Information Group: What Are Fathers For?