How to Help Someone You Know Who is in an Abusive Relationship

People who are being abused need the support of their closest friends.

If you are not in an abusive situation yourself, it can often be tempting to wonder why someone being abused doesn't simply just walk away and leave their abuser, never to return again. Unfortunately, it isn't always that easy. If you have a friend who is suffering in an abusive relationship, there are several ways in which you can help and be there for her.

Instructions

1. Start the dialogue. Do not be afraid to let your friend know that you are aware of what she is experiencing. Tell her that you do not wish to interfere but that you are deeply worried about her well-being and safety. Stress to her that if she needs your assistance at any time, or needs a shoulder to cry on, you are there for her with no strings attached.

2. Be a good listener. When someone is in a difficult, abusive situation, he might not appreciate any advice from you, as a friend, especially if he doesn't think that you have been through the same situation or that you can walk in his shoes. In these situations, the best thing that you can do to show your support is by listening patiently and intently, and not making any judgments.

3. Exercise some tact and sensitivity. Although the thought of someone abusing your close friend might make you want to scream and yell, it is very important to remember that your friend might still be deeply in love with her significant other, even though she is being abused. Try to avoid statements such as "I hate him" or "I want to beat him up for you."

4. Provide some comfort. If your friend decides that he wants to escape the situation he is in, help him organize a strategy. Tell him that he can stay at your house while he gets away from his abuser.

5. Be encouraging. Try to get your friend's thoughts away from her abuser. Encourage her to participate in hobbies and social activities (with family and friends) that will get her out in the world. This can help to make your friend realize that her abuser is not the be-all and the end-all of the planet, and might help her garner up the strength to pick up the pieces and walk away.

6. Tell your friend to seek counseling. Although it might be helpful that you are providing your friend with someone to talk to and vent to, he might also need some professional therapy or assistance. Help your friend look for a domestic abuse support group or counseling center in your area. You can also consider contacting an organization such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline to help your friend plan for safety.

7. Call the police if your friend is being physically abused. If you are worried that your friend's life is in jeopardy, do not hesitate to contact the police. Although your friend might resent you at first for drawing attention to her situation, she may thank you at a later stage when she is away from her abuser after law enforcement has intervened.

References

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Educated
• CNN Living: How to Help a Friend Who is Being Abused
• Womens Health: Violence Against Women
• Do Something: Action Tips -- Help Someone Who is Being Abused
• The Safe Space: Help Someone Experiencing Abuse
• The People's Law Library of Maryland: Helping a Friend Who May be a Victim of Abuse