How to Explore Non-Verbal Communication

Make sure your hand gestures signal the right message.

Make friends and influence people by exploring nonverbal communication patterns. When you talk, people can pick up more from your voice, facial expression, body posture and gesture than from your words. Whether you want to get that job, make friends, get better service in stores or win an argument without a fight, pay attention to your nonverbal communication. Find how to link your actions to your words and you'll give out clear messages that get results.

Instructions

1. Watch speaker's faces carefully to pick up clues to the nonverbal messages they are sending. An eye closure that lasts less than two seconds is a wink, according to FaceandEmotion.com, while a longer eye closure suggests boredom or lack of interest. Little movements of the muscles around your eyes can give away a false smile. Good eye contact builds rapport and shows you're listening. Remember that you have dozens of facial muscles, and your eyebrows, mouth, cheeks, chin and forehead all play a part in showing your emotions.

2. Notice body posture and movement. As SimplyBodyLanguage.com points out, a slouched posture makes you appear less confident than a straight back. Make sure you don't stand too close to someone, making them uncomfortable. Make your listener feel at ease by matching your body language to his, leaning forward with him or imitating his crossed legs. Take care with your arm and hand gestures. Folded arms look unwelcoming, tight fists seem angry, but wide-spread hands project friendliness.

3. Check your tone of voice. A voice that rises in pitch as if asking a question gives the impression of uncertainty, but too loud a tone can sound aggressive. Shouting shows you've lost an argument. Slow your speech rate and pause often to sound authoritative and help your listener understand you better.

4. Adjust your nonverbal behaviour to conform to the situation. Cultural differences make the common thumbs-up gesture unacceptable in non-Western countries, while pointing directly at someone can often seem aggressive. As Palomar College in California points out on its website, spitting can be a sign of affection among the Masai in Kenya, but should be avoided in Europe and North America.

Tips & Warnings

• Get to know the basic structure of the head and face, suggests FaceandEmotion.com, to help you understand the differences between permanent and transient facial features.

• Remember that people vary in their ability to read your nonverbal language. Exaggerated facial and body language can upset those with autistic spectrum disorder, for example. A calm expression and minimal gestures sometimes work best to avoid confusion.

References

• FaceandEmotion.com: Wink
• SimplyBodyLanguage.com:A Slouching Posture Hurts in More Ways than One
• Palomar College, California: Hidden Aspects of Communication
• FaceandEmotion.com:Introduction