How to Find a Lost Birth Parent
In the United States, about half of all adopted children embark on searches to locate birth kin, and the number is rising steadily. Typically, seekers are women with concerns about hereditary medical conditions that may affect themselves or their families, people prompted by lifelong curiosity about their roots, or those who have experienced changes in their relationships with their adoptive families. Today, changes in legislation concerning access to birth records combined with the networking made possible by information technology, have vastly increased success rates.
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Instructions
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Digging Down Deep to Uncover Your Roots
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Prepare yourself emotionally. When you begin this journey, it is vitally important to realize that there could be a range of outcomes, some potentially heart-wrenching. Statistically, 9 to 15 percent of birth parents reject contact with children they have put up for adoption. Even when reunions occur, birth parents, and the circumstances that led them to place a child for adoption, may differ from what seekers have imagined or expected. Enlist the ongoing support of your adoptive family, friends and other adoptees who understand and can share their own experiences.
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Gather all known information. Your adoptive parents may know more than they think they know. In addition to the name of the agency, attorney or institution that brokered the adoption, ask them about anything they were told verbally that won't appear in documents. Your amended birth certificate, hospital records, your birth mother's age, marital status, medical history and church affiliation are all pieces of the puzzle that can help bring the bigger picture into focus.
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Research state laws. These differ from state to state and may have changed over time so your search may be influenced by legislation in place the year you were born.
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Register with reunion organizations. These fall into two categories, "active," which charge fees, and "passive" (also known as Mutual Consent), which enable matches only if both birth parents and children are registered with them. The largest passive registry is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (minimum age for registrants is 18). Active registries have a higher success rate than passive ones.
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Try to dig out confidential records. The adoptees' rights movement has succeeded in facilitating access to a great deal of previously sealed birth and adoption information, but individual states still determine public accessibility. Even if original birth certificates, case files of adoption agencies and records of the court that approved your adoption are sealed, you can petition the court to have them opened.
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Hire a professional searcher if all else fails. This may be especially productive if the information you need is filed in more than one state. Sometimes professionals are permitted access to sealed records when private individuals are not and can act as intermediaries by locating and making contact with birth parents and finding out if they want a reunion. Research reputations of professional searchers carefully. Ask for references and check with the Better Business Bureau and adoption support groups before retaining anyone.
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- Photo Credit baby hand and parent arm image by Anatoly Tiplyashin from Fotolia.com
