How to Address Codependency in Biblical Terms
Mental Health America defines codependency as an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. The agency also calls it relationship addiction. Some indications of codependency are unrelenting efforts to be in control of other people's life, things and events. Staying in an abusive relationship and participating in unhealthy activities to please other people are also signs of codependency. Most of the time, a codependent does things to satisfy himself and cover up his own inadequacy.
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Instructions
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Face your own issues honestly. Unless the codependent comes to terms with himself and acknowledges that he has a problem, change will not happen. The person needs to reach the point at which he can admit there is something wrong with him and he needs help. Start by identifying the specific issues with which you struggle. Ask God to help you seek deeper inside. Take the attitude of the psalmist in Psalms 139:23-24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."
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Go back to the root of the problem. Instead of blocking out the unpleasant memories or denying its existence, revisit the past and confront the ghost. Whatever happened cannot be changed, but you can ask God to heal you and help you forgive. Joseph is one of the best examples of healing and forgiveness in the Bible. He was sold by his own brothers into slavery, and after so many years of struggles, God made him face his brothers again. He had the chance for vengeance, but he chose to forgive and reconcile with his brothers. He acknowledged that God has a purpose for everything that occurred in the past. Joseph's story can be found in Genesis 45.
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Avoid unhealthy involvements. Bad company corrupts good morals, admonishes the Bible in 1 Corinthians 15:33. Even when your intentions are good, if you are not strong enough to resist the temptation, do not expose yourself to bad influences. Know where your vulnerable areas are and guard against them. If you are trying to be sober, do not visit the place where drugs are available. Do not even try to solve someone else's problem when you yourself are on the road to recovery. It can drag you back. Wait until you have fully recovered; then you can use your experience to help others.
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Find satisfaction in God. All your unhealthy involvements in the past were all manifestations of your quest to find your worth as a person. Unfortunately, because you were looking for it in the wrong place and in the wrong way, you ended up buried deeper in disillusion and destruction. God is the only One who can satisfy the longing in your heart. Once you let him fill the void in your heart, you will find out that loving others just comes naturally. Your focus will no longer be for your own satisfaction. You will then be capable of developing a healthy relationship. Colossians 3:23 reminds, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men."
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Embrace God's love. God is just waiting for you to welcome Him into your life. When you were on the path to destruction, He was holding out His hand to help you. Do not ignore Him anymore. In Matthew 11:28, Christ says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily-laden and I will give you rest."
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Rely on the Lord. Temptation is still around you and it will always be there. What matters is how you respond to it. The Apostle Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has come to you but those that are common to all men. But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. With every temptation, He will provide you a way out, so that you can stand against it." When you feel that you are being enticed to go back to your old habit, run to God for protection and strength. God is the best support system. The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
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References
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