How to Get Someone to Forgive You for Cheating on Them

Communication is key as a couple moves past infidelity.

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal in a marriage, and it can often lead to the destruction of that relationship. The adulterer often experiences feelings of guilt and regret after cheating on his partner. Before giving up on the relationship altogether, though, the adulterer can attempt to earn his partner's forgiveness. Doing so can be a challenge, as the broken trust caused by the infidelity can have long-term effects on a relationship.

Instructions

1. Tell your partner about the indiscretion, and express your regret. In order to move past infidelity, you first must come to terms with it. Do not place blame on your partner; instead, take full responsibility for what happened. Admit that you made a mistake and immediately regretted the cheating. Do not blame alcohol or drugs for your indiscretion. Accept that you made the decision to cheat.

2. Cut off contact with the person you cheated with. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, you must no longer see or speak to that person in order to regain your partner's trust. Separating yourself from temptation illustrates your commitment to your marriage.

3. Assess why you cheated. Often, working with a therapist can help identify the issues or problems that led you to cheat. A private therapy session can help you come to terms with the cheating and move on, and it shows your partner that you are committed to identifying what went wrong in order to save your marriage.

4. Attend marriage counseling as a couple. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy reports that family therapists often used a three-staged approach to help couples work through infidelity. First, you and your partner talk about the emotions caused by the infidelity. Next, you talk about what vulnerabilities led to that affair. Finally, you and your partner focus on healing and forgiveness and looking ahead to the future of your marriage.

References

• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: Infidelity
• Mayo Clinic: Marriage Counseling: What You Can Expect
• NOLA.com: Overcoming Infidelity