How to Have a Conversation with Someone of a Different Religion

What book is she reading? Just ask.

Religious diversity defines the world and is not going to go away. And you can experience engaging interaction with someone whose religion differs from yours. Rather than feel threatened by or afraid of those of different beliefs, it is helpful to interact and build bridges of mutual respect and develop greater understanding. Who knows? You may enjoy some great new recipes once you and your neighbor of another faith have started a respectful conversation about your religions.

Instructions

1. Smile when you meet someone whom you know represents a member of a different religion. Smiling can diffuse fear of suspicion or condemnation and leave the way open for a positive conversation.

2. Ask modest and genuine questions about the person's family and country of origin, which most people enjoy talking about. If a point remains confusing to you, freely express your desire for clarity. This may open the way for him to ask questions too, which will pave the way for greater understanding between you.

3. Initiate an honest curiosity about where he and his family go to worship. While some people deem religious beliefs a personal matter, many do not, and gladly share them with an interested listener.

4. Always show respect, even if you may harbor profound disagreements with her. Maintain an attitude of respect and openness. Once you have probed her about her beliefs nonjudgmentally, she will feel safe to do the same with you.

5. Keep your responses positive. Rather than answer his questions in the negative, saying, "I don't believe that," simply respond with an honest answer describing primary elements of what you do believe.

Accept Limitations

1. Remember that these few moments will not overrule a lifetime of history and heritage. Do not expect this person to change her beliefs during one conversation. Chances are, he will not change them at all.

2. Affirm those aspects of the conversation that taught you something you had not known before. Convey authentic appreciation for your friend's willingness to be open with you about these interesting yet personal matters.

3. Part company warmly. Be gracious and grateful, and thank your friend for sharing part of his life with you.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not target another's religious beliefs in order to "correct" him by countering with your own. This will put him on the defensive. The point is to engage respectfully to bring about better understanding, not to convert.

References

• The Interreligious Center on Public Life: Home Page
• Women's U.N. Report Network: The Interreligious Center on Public Life

Resources

• "Inter-religious Dialogue: A Short Introduction"; Martin Forward; 2002