How to Leave an Abusive Alcoholic Husband

Alcohol is not an excuse for abusive behavior.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 25 percent of women in the U.S. experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. The goal of an abusive husband is to gain control and power over his wife through physical and/or emotional abuse. Abuse in a relationship is never the victim's fault and is never excusable, even if the husband was drunk and states he did not know what he was doing. Women that stay in abusive relationships will find their situation will only get worse; therefore, they need a plan of action to leave a husband and stay safe.

Instructions

1. Know whom you can trust. Make a list of people in your life you know can take you in when you decide to leave. You should make sure these people would also not tell your husband where you are staying. If you think staying with a friend or family member is too much of a risk, know the contact information for local domestic violence shelters in your area. These shelters will let you and your children stay there, keep your identities confidential and may even be able to pick you up when you are ready to leave the home.

2. Plan an exit strategy. Figure out the safest time of day or night to leave. Know where you will go and how you will get there. Also, consider how you will safely get to and from work. Contact your school district to arrange transportation for your children to get to and from school.

3. Prepare your resources. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness recommends a wife open a checking account in her own name, using an address that will not give away where she is staying (like a PO Box or business address). You should also leave the following items with someone you trust in the event you need to get out of your house quickly and do not have time to pack: a set of keys, petty cash, copies of important papers, a change or two of clothes and a list of important phone numbers. Important papers may include birth certificates, social security numbers, passports, car titles, court documents and so on. The list of phone numbers should include the non-emergency number for the local police station, a domestic violence shelter, friends and family, schools, work and the contact information for community and legal resources.

Tips & Warnings

• If you think your abusive husband will report you as a missing person in an attempt to find you, contact the local police station's non-emergency number to let them know about you have escaped a violent relationship and are not missing. This way the police will know you are safe and will not report your location to your husband.

References

• Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: Develop a Safety Plan
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence Facts
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Safety Plan