How to Get a Man to Open Up

Get your man to open up about his feelings.

There's no doubt about it: Men and women seem as though they're from different planets when it comes to relationships. A big hurdle in many relationships is getting the man to open up about his feelings. Some men are brought up hearing that men don't cry, which can lead them to have a tougher exterior, even though they are just as vulnerable as women. Conversation is a crucial part of a relationship, so it's important to get him to talk about his feelings. Not pressuring him and catching him while he's relaxed are two of the best ways to get him to share what he's feeling.

Instructions

1. Give him your compete attention when he talks. If he is finally opening up to you, don't interrupt him. Allow him to finish what he has to say before giving him your input. If you say something that angers him or gets him sidetracked, he might not open up about that subject again.

2. Allow him to relax before asking him about his day. Although women find venting about a stressful day therapeutic, many men need time to cool down and relax before opening up. Don't press him to talk to you until he's ready, or it's likely that he'll shut down completely.

3. Make him feel comfortable. Chances are, if you open up to him about your feelings, he'll do the same. Don't get too deep too soon, though, because that could have the opposite effect. He might feel pressured or overwhelmed and avoid the subject. Start out lightly, and see where the conversation goes. Follow his lead. If he seems to want to delve deeper into the topic at hand, feel free to talk more about your feelings.

4. Do things together. If you get him into the right environment, such as a nice restaurant, a sports game or his favorite hangout spot, he might be more relaxed. When he's relaxed, he's more inclined to open up and tell you how he feels.

5. Tell him how much you appreciate it when he shares his feeling with you. If he sees how important it is, and how happy he makes you, he will want to do it more often. Everyone their own set of personal needs in a relationship, and conversation might not be high on his list. So your partner might not realize how important it is for him to talk to you. By thanking him, you are letting him know that you value his feelings.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid judging him. If he opens up and thinks he's being judged, he might feel resentful and keep quiet about things in the future.

References

• Couples Transformations: How to Get Your Man to Open Up and Talk to You