How to Make Your Man Feel Significant
We all know that men, in many ways, live by their egos. But your man's ego, as gargantuan in presence as it may feel at times, can be quite fragile. And the repercussions of his wounded ego could have broad effects, contributing to conflict or discord in your relationship. Nurturing your man's sense of competence, respect and significance can work not only to foster his self-confidence but also have positive implications on your relationship. As Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of "Getting the Love You Want" puts it, "Men need to feel competent---that they make a contribution and that it is noticed."
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Instructions
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Let him help. You may pride yourself on your independence, and that independence may have helped attract him to you, but if you do absolutely everything yourself, even fix the things that he has done, what does he have left to do? If he can help you with things, he'll feel of value to you.
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Don't make all of the decisions. If you do, you're controlling rather than sharing in your relationship. Confer with him on major decisions in your own life and also that affect your life together. This acknowledges that his feelings and opinions matter, and that he plays a significant role in the relationship.
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Count the ways you love him. It may feel sappy, but it's healthy to express how much you appreciate his special qualities and how much of an impact he has had in your life. Positively reinforce all of the good things that he does for you and the many positive ways he has impacted your life. Then he will not only continue to do those things because of the gratification that comes from appreciation, he will also feel important.
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Respect him. Men need to be respected by their loved ones and desire respect from their peers. If you show him respect in the way that you treat and talk to him, refer to him with others, value his input, and so on, he will feel closer to you and will maintain a sense of self-empowerment in your relationship.
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Encourage him to play ball with the boys. Give your man space to do his own things and maintain his own identity. If he loses sight of his own interests and identity, he will feel suffocated and small. Just as we all do, he needs to have a strong sense of himself and to value himself in order to feel valued by others.
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