How to Get a Job in 30 Days

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Step 1

Your first place to look is seasonal employment. Go for the places that need lots of folks right now. Since we have yet to develop a Star Trek transporter that works without getting the goods disintegrated, all those online retailers still need warm bodies to help them get the goodies from the factory floor to a home near you. That's where you come in. Companies like UPS, FedEx and DHL often need extra help to handle packages between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you need the extra cash you can certainly apply for such jobs.
Step 2

Your next targets of opportunity are the brick and mortar stores. Macy's, Target, Walmart and JC Penny amongst other retailers may find themselves in need of extra sales staff. If you don't have a job go down to these stores and fill out an application today. If they allow you to apply online then you may not even have to get out of your chair to apply. Just Google to find their websites.
Step 3

If you have ever had even a passing position as a manager of salesmen or of a package delivery place, you need to get your three piece suit on and your lucky tie and show up and tell Human Resources that their salvation has arrived. A manager who is willing to do any shift at any time and who is even willing to travel is here. Tell them don't thank you, just throw money.
Step 4

Now we come to a more specialized group of seasonal employees. Generally but not always, it helps to have some skills. For instance, some places might need ski instructors or ice carvers. Speaking of low skill positions if you are fat or can fake it try the shopping mall Santa Claus gig.

Be ready to take temporary jobs or jobs at odd shifts. Be ready to travel or drive long distances if the jobs require it.
Step 5

We have discussed a range of seasonal jobs many of which will pay at or slightly above minimum wage. They will tide you over holiday season but let us suppose you want more. Let us suppose you are hoping for employment that might get you a buck or two over minimum wage. Well they don't pay for breathing. You have to have some skills. But I told you I would try to get you a job in 30 days. How can you get skill enough to be worth a few dollars more in that time period?
It turns out that some of the things that employers want and need most are people who are conversant with office automation. If you are not conversant with office automation you may be confused. Well even though I am not from the government I am here to help
Office automation is short hand for that bill of goods that Bill Gates has been selling us for years. If you want to find out how much you don't know then go to any office and apply for one of those administrative assistant jobs. After you take the test you might find that you need to learn some new office skills.
Fortunately you can learn new office skills for free. With almost any Microsoft product all you have to do is hit the F1 key and help will arrive. If you can remember what you had a tough time with on the test, you can look it up after you push the F1 key. If you type in the word "tutorial" you can get a list of like tutorials on Microsoft Office.
Will any diligence at all 30 days is more than enough time to learn enough about Word, Access and Excel to land an office assistant job. If you don't like Microsoft's instruction methods then Google Word, Access, Excel tutorials. If you learn better by example then add the word "Example" in the Google search box. If you like to see complete sample applications that you can emulate, then add "Sample" to the Google search box.
Step 6

Let's say you want to earn double minimum wage. The fast answer is: that's going to take more than 30 days. The trickier answer is: how fast can you read? Do the following Google searches "learn * in 30 days", "learning * in 30 days", "teach yourself * in 30 days." The asterisk is a placeholder that let's Google replace it with anything it finds that fits the general pattern. Notice that you can find some truly insane listings like "Teach yourself Sanskrit in 30 days." Okay then. Maybe you should be a little suspicious of this method of attaining job skills but don't entirely dismiss it. You will also see listings for things like learning Adobe Illustrator in 30 days. Some of the more complicated pieces of software can be mastered in relatively short amount of time by a dedicated person who is not easily distracted and who has access to the software. Therein lies the rub. Some of this software ain't exactly cheap. On the other hand, if you can get a job photoshopping wedding pictures it beats digging ditches. Maybe you should buy the software. Before you buy it, check to see if your friend who has it on her computer will let you learn on her machine. Look and see if your local library has the soft ware. Sign up for a community college or adult learning class that has the software. Often they will let you come in late or early and you can finish what you need to do long before the slow poke class gets to it.
Suppose you want to earn triple or quadruple minimum wage. Then you will need some skills and taking a class along with reading relevant subject mater books may be with way to go. This exceeds our 30 day limit. On the other hand, what do managers know, really? Management can be a way to big bucks if you are good with people and have good innate time and management skills.