How to Explain Jealousy to a Child
Jealousy, often understood as feelings of resentment when someone gains something that someone else feels he deserves, can be bewildering to children. Children who experience the angst of jealousy will often not completely understand it or where it comes from. They may simply begin to act out, perhaps by making a mess or bursting into tears. Children need to understand that jealousy is a natural, common human emotion, and they should be able to confront it like a grown-up. Explaining jealousy to a child should be done in a simple, non-traumatic manner.
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Instructions
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Cut yourself a big piece of chocolate cake. Cut the child a much smaller slice of cake, no larger than a deck of cards. Eat and visibly enjoy your piece of cake, saying how much you like it.
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Watch the child finish his tiny slice of cake rather quickly and then observe you eating yours. Usually, the child will ask for another, bigger piece or ask you to share some of yours. The child might plead with you, or begin to cry or get angry. At this stage you must remain resolute, for at least a few minutes.
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Ask the child how he feels. Make sure he uses clear, adult words like "sad" or "angry" or "confused." Ask him to explain why he feels that way. At this point, the child should be able to explain in his own words that he feels entitled or justified to a piece of cake the same size as yours and that he finds it unfair or cruel that he is being denied a larger slice of cake.
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Write on a piece of paper the word "Jealousy" in big letters with your marker. Tell your child that all the emotions he experienced when he was denied more cake are all a part of one big emotion, "Jealousy." Explain that it is a natural human emotion and must be met without tears or screams. Then, give your child a bigger piece of cake, so as not to traumatize him.
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Tips & Warnings
You can substitute pie or pizza for the cake.
