Remaining calm is very important to your health especially in the face of adversity. Often times losing your cool will only escalate a situation beyond any peaceful or reasonable outcome.
The first step is to ferret out the cause of "not being calm". Without identifying the cause, you cannot properly deal with IT.
So look around you. What is really bothering you? Do you feel that you are not being listened to? Are you being ignored? If you are being ignored, try to figure out why. Is it that they just don't care? Are they too busy? Do they even know that you exist? What is their motive for ignoring you?
Stay at this step until you have a cause for your feelings. Do not rush or discount this important step.
The second step is to choose your feelings. Do you ever wonder how some people remain calm even in the face of disaster? This is often because they have chosen their feelings. In any situation, you can choose to be happy or sad. The choice as a human being is always yours. It may be more difficult to be happy when the situation is grim, but being happy does not cost any more money than being sad. So why not choose to be happy?
The third step is to act on your feelings. Go back to step one. Why are you being ignored? With all the kindness, patience, and diplomacy that you can muster, ask the person that is ignoring you why they are behaving the way they are. Maybe they don't realize their activity is affecting you. Maybe they don't realize how you feel about the subject. Let them know how their activity is affecting you. Be as factual as you can. Do NOT let your feelings enter into the situation. Facts are what will make the day.
The last and final step is evaluating your progress. Step back from the situation. Examine your position. What response did you get? Did you get the response that you wanted? If you did not get the response that you wanted, why not? Perhaps the ignorer will not change their behavior (even when they are made to recognize it).
Tips & Warnings
- Face it. You may never receive the response that you desire. The ignorer may never see your point of view (or even acknowledge your right to have a point of view). Sometimes you have to know when to give up and repeat the Serenity Prayer (by Reinhold Niebuhr), "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference".
- Photo Credit I took this picture
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