How to Get a Divorce

It has been estimated that about half of all marriages end in divorce. The process of dissolving a marriage boils down to controlling what you can; and normally, what you won't be able to control is your spouse. If your marriage is heading down this road, learn how to get a divorce while protecting your interests and the interests of your family.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Lawyer
• Self-help Law Books
• Stress Management Counseling
• Stress Relief Products
• Accountants
• Detectives
• Lawyers

1. Make every effort toward keeping your relations amicable. The angrier your spouse is, the uglier your divorce will be.

2. Consult an attorney - most will meet for an initial consultation just to explain the process and your immediate options - or research the divorce process in your area. Divorce laws differ among states, and each county may have its own rules.

3. Take a trip to your local family law courthouse or the family law department within the local courthouse.

4. Gather your financial documents, including tax returns for the last five years, all retirement accounts and all financial accounts.

5. Close or freeze joint accounts. You and your spouse may want to divide equally all funds accumulated during your marriage.

6. Keep track of all debts incurred or paid (credit cards, repairs to the family home and so forth) once you separate from your spouse.

7. Determine whether alimony or child support is warranted. If you are the spouse in need of support, make sure to initiate court proceedings as soon as possible, because you won't receive support until you file. Consult an attorney or other resource.

8. Keep track of any money you give your spouse as alimony or child support, and write checks rather than giving cash.

9. Realize that most states have a waiting period between the time when you file for divorce and the time when your divorce is final.

10. Research your spouse's pension plans, retirement accounts and other savings accounts. You may not be aware of all the plans to which your spouse contributes or to which an employer contributes on behalf of your spouse.

11. Negotiate a custody plan if children are involved; you will have to. Most courts offer free assistance.

Tips & Warnings

• It's best to consult with an attorney who specializes in family law, even if you plan to represent yourself throughout the process.
• Expect the divorce process to be long and potentially costly.
• Remove your emotions from the legal process by seeking therapy to deal with them. Don't use your lawyer or the system to retaliate against your spouse; it will just cost you more money.

[hurtbyu]

on 12/19/2006 Never believe your spouse, when they say we are just friends and all we do is talk. While you are trying to finish your college degree, I was told that he we lonely. What part of studying and working full time doesn't he get, I'm going to school to have a better life FOR THE FAMILY.

on 3/6/2006 If your gut feeling tells you that something isn't right in the marriage, listen more closely. We are given hints to leave bad relationships long before we act. I refused to accept the truth that my husband of 18 years was having affairs with men while I was away on business. Not until I found his "second" cellphone did I want to accept the truth.

on 2/1/2006 If your children repeatedly tell you to get a divorce because they genuinely dislike or fear your spouse, listen to them. Get out of the relationship. Otherwise it could ruin your relationship with your children. Don't stay in the relationship because it's too much trouble to get a divorce and you just can't deal with it right now. That's just plain selfish.