Things You'll Need:
- Confidence, patience and a will to succeed.
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Step 1
The first thing you have to do when you have just been broken up with is the take control of your emotions. Your actions after a break up are crucial and you will need a clear and controlled mind to be able to execute the right actions so that your ex will take you back. If you are unstable and emotionally fragile, you will sadly fail miserable and dig yourself a bigger hole. A good way to gain control of your emotions is to let it all out. Cry yourself dry, be angry and talk about it with a close friend or family. Once all the pent up emotions have been dealt with and let out of your system, you are ready to move on to the next step of the plan. What you have to do is to come up with an action plan; A series of actions you will follow that will ultimately end with you having your ex back. Your plan should be composed of three distinct phases.
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Step 2
The first phase of the plan is called the setup phase. This phase should last somewhere between one to two weeks. In this phase, you have to cut cold any contact you may have with your ex. You now have approximately two weeks to get ready for the next phase of the plan. You, first of all, you need to think of what caused your relationship to fail. You may think it is your ex’s entire fault, but you played a role in the demise of your relationship. If you had been perfect, your relationship wouldn’t have failed. While you meditate on the reasons why you and your ex broke up, spend time with your friends. Go out and do all the things you ever wanted to do, but never did. The reasoning behind this is to make you happy, confident and back on your feet. Word tends to get around fast and sooner than later, your ex will be aware of all the great times you are having and begin to wonder whether or not, they made the right choice. Your ex expects you to be begging for another chance and to send emotional “I’m sorry” messages. Doing the opposite and taking time for yourself will throw them off and again, make them wonder what if. If worse comes to worse and you don’t get back with your ex, at least you’ve spent time doing what you love with people that actually do care about you. You’ll be well on your way to mend your broken heart.
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Step 3
The second phase of the plan is call the contact phase. After you’ve taken time for yourself and to think about your relationship, your ex should eventually contact you seeing you aren’t contacting them. If it’s been two weeks and still no contact, you may want to initiate it, but have a reason. You need a reason to contact your ex. You may have things to give back to them, or matters to attending do such as bills and whatnot. If you don’t have any reason to contact them, you can always call to ask how they are going since the break up. When this contact finally occurs, you must stay poised, confident and keep your emotions at bay. An emotional breakdown will kill your chances instantly. Keep the conversation short and light. The goal of this conversation is to setup a meeting with your ex over coffee or a walk in the park to talk about how each other is going. Don’t talk to too much and do not, I mean do not, bring up the break up. Once the meeting has been planed, get out. You can now get ready for the final phase of the plan.
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Step 4
The third phase of the plan is called the seduction phase. When you meet your ex, you need to be happy, poised and confident. If you begin showing signs of emotional pain and depression, you will get nowhere and you will end up in a worse shape than you started in. You should stay away from the subject of the break up. The goal here is to act flirty with your ex, but not too flirty. Your ex should not be able to tell if you’re flirting with them or just being nice. Once your ex begins to wonder, plenty of ideas should pop up in their heads. They should begin to think whether or not they made the right choice. You have seduced this person before, so you shouldn’t have a very hard time again. The most important thing about this meeting us to make your ex have a good time, give them mixed signals, and be as confident and happy as possible.
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Step 5
Finally, your work is pretty much done. You just spent some time with your ex and show them that you are over the break up and you are confident and happy in your new life. You gave them mixed signals and instilled doubt in their minds. Let time do what it does best. You ex will begin making scenarios in their heads and eventually the idea of getting back together should pop up in their minds. Let this idea roll around in their minds. Eventually, if it was meant to be, they will realize that they made a mistake and will contact you. From there on, a new relationship will begin. A better relationship that will be better than the previous one. It is up to you to hopefully have learnt enough to make this relationship work.
