How to Analyze and Respond to an Insult or Difficult Issue or Situation

Difficult customers are still customers.

Dealing with people can be difficult. Some people enjoy being confrontational and condescending. These behaviors can be tricky to deal with, especially if it comes from a potential business partner or customer. The key is to keep your cool and search for rational answers, then analyze the situation and implement an appropriate conflict management strategy. Disagreements handled effectively can sometimes build stronger relationships than conflict-free interactions. On the other hand, if you avoid or fail to take action to resolve the situation, stress and frustration may build to unbearable levels.

Instructions

1. Know your objective. Tense debates can easily spill over into intense irrational arguments. Decide ahead of time what you want your outcome to be. For example, you might choose salvaging the relationship over closing the sale.

2. Carefully listen to the other party, even if you were insulted. If possible, take notes. Many people lose rational perspective when emotionally upset. Identify the other party's objective.

3. Forecast the consequences. The consequences will give you an idea of what you have to win or lose. If it's not worth the effort, let it go.

4. Choose a conflict management strategy and match it to your situation: competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising or collaborating. A competing strategy is used when you need to stand your ground. An avoiding strategy is used when issues are of little importance to you. Accommodating strategies are recommended when you want to put your needs last. Compromising strategies are useful when trying to meet the other party halfway. Collaborative strategies should be sought when trying to find a win-win situation.

5. Allot enough time to deal with the situation. If there is not enough time, have all parties agree to set aside time in the future to resolve the problem.

Tips & Warnings

• Think before speaking.

• Take many deep breaths before speaking to lower your blood pressure.

• Never interrupt the other party. Interruptions can be interpreted as disrespect and may ignite tempers.

References

• University of California, Berkeley; Conflict Management Skills; Gregorio Billikopf; 2009
• Wright State University: Conflict Management --- Style and Strategy
• U.S. Department of Agriculture; Conflict Management; April 2005
• Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management: Choosing a Conflict Management Style
• Helpguide.org: Conflict Resolution Skills

Resources

• American Humanist Association: Conflict Resolution Lessons