Things You'll Need:
- Ending Relationship
- Irreconcilable Differences
- Children
-
Step 1
Be sure.
Couples may argue and disagree. Issues that can be resolved should be resolved without mentioning separation or divorce if it really isn’t an option. Tossing those words around as a means to get back at your spouse may harm little hearts by way of little listening ears. -
Step 2
Be calm.
Talk things out with your spouse when you are most clear minded. Wait until you are alone and preferably not shouting. If you are seriously considering separating, you will relay those sentiments regardless of the method of communication used. Therefore, your point can be heard in a civil manner and is delivered more effectively. -
Step 3
Be straight.
Tell your children the truth without including damaging facts. Although Daddy may not be responsible or Mommy is a cheater, those facts should be omitted. There’s no sense in bashing the other parent. It serves no purpose but to harm. Try stating the feelings you have about the relationship ending. i.e., “We’ve been together for 14 years and have not been able to live happily. The arguments have increased and we honestly are not enhancing each other’s lives.” -
Step 4
Assure them.
Your children will likely feel anxiety over this tremendous change in the family dynamic. Thought of fear and abandonment may well up and trust issues may develop. Do your best to assure your children that they are loved and they are not the reason for the adult problems affecting the family. Counseling is also a good option. -
Step 5
Be consistent.
In spite of the changes, maintain a routine. Drive that extra distance, joggle your work schedule more effectively, and bite your tongue a little harder to keep the peace. Your children still need two parents. Do what you must to remain an active participant in their lives so they know they aren’t the ones being left behind.
