How to Plan the Details of a Funeral
Unfortunately one of the greatest challenges we face, the lost of a loved one, often presents us with a great organizational challenge, the planning of a funeral service.
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Instructions
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First, know that you actually are in charge of planning the funeral. This can be an issue of contention in families. Unless you are the spouse of the person who has passed or have power of attorney, do consider consulting with other family before beginning funeral arrangements. Unless you have something in writing that gives you permission to begin, it can create huge issues among family members.
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If you are the spouse or do have primary responsibility for planning the funeral, do be kind to yourself. No matter how much pressure you feel, do not push yourself beyond what you can emotionally, physically, spiritually, or financially handle. Families are often pushed to the limit at the point of the highest grief. Doing less is not a statement that you love the person less, it is a statement about doing what you can reasonably handle.
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Along with meeting the wishes of your loved one and the family, do consider your financial situation. What do you have to spend on this funeral? Know this and be assertive about this through out the funeral planning. While others will try to pressure you about your spending, be content knowing you have stayed within your financial obligations.
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Your funeral home director will be your primary contact in making your funeral arrangements. Do find someone who has a solid reputation in your area. This is going to be a challenging time, so having someone who can give you good advice regarding your options will make the journey easier.
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Do consider what kind of service and burial arrangements you wish to make. There are many types of burials available ranging from traditional, cremation, to newer "green" burials. Each ranges in price and availability. Do consult with any religious institution you wish to involve in the burial service. Many do have heavy schedules, so contacting them as soon as possible can help you get the best options for your service.
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Decide what music you wish to have either at the funeral home or the Church. Churches can be particular about what music is allowed so you will want to check with them before planning a program.
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Consider how you wish to involve family and friends in the service. Different venues allow for a variety of participation. Some people are more comfortable taking on a role than others. Do respect people's reservations. Funerals are challenging for everyone and some people do not feel able to take on additional duties.
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There is a free resource below that will help you identify the information you will need. You will likely receive something similar from your funeral home director but this can give you a preview of what to expect.
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Check with your funeral director about obituaries. Some papers are significantly more expensive than others and many cover the same territories. Many newspapers have on-line forms to help you plan the obituary. Some funeral directors will also help you with the task.
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Tips & Warnings
Do find a solid funeral director
Stick to a budget
Involve family and friends where they are willing
Do not let others push you into doing things you are not prepared to do emotionally, financially, of physically.
