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Step 1
Stop dating entirely. Stay home on weekends and if you can, live in an elderly community. This way you'll have no chance of meeting men under 80 years old.
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Step 2
Go to your local animal shelter and start adopting. Start small so your other cats can have time to get used to each other but try to work up to five or more cats. They say having more than two cats makes you a cat lady but true cat lady's would be offended by that. You should really have five or more cats to be an authentic cat lady.
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Step 3
Always welcome stray cats. Never say no to a friend or family member or even a stranger who have kittens that need homes.
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Step 4
Purchase everything and anything with cats on them. This includes cat pictures, cat dishware, cat bedding, and of course, a shower curtain with cats on it.
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Step 5
A cat lady must always own a sizeable collection of t-shirts with cats on them, cat pajamas, and cat slippers. This is very important and required its own step.
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Step 6
You now must keep your cats entertained so make sure you stock up on cat toys and cat condos. Cats need stimulation and need a challenge so have an abundance of toys at their reach.
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Step 7
You will need many litter boxes if you still want human visitors. However, cat people are normally very solitary people because the love they get from the cats is enough, so I'll leave this step optional.
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Step 8
Always talk about your cats as if they are your kids, if you still have friends left and family who are still willing to keep their obligatory contact with you. Of course, always talk to your cats. They will understand you, and it will be important for you to know that sometimes they're the only ones who will understand you.
