How to Handle Flirting When You're Married
There is a saying, "I may be married, but I'm not dead," which is appropriate to flirting by people who are married. Some scientists believe flirting is hard-wired into human nature. Whether or not this is true, as long as flirting is done without devious intention, it can be harmless and might even add a welcome spice to a marriage.
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Instructions
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Dealing With Flirtatious Overtures
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Reinforce your loyalty to your spouse. Make it clear that while you are flattered and enjoy the other person's company, you are happily married. Dropping your spouse's name into a conversation or flashing a wedding ring often does the trick.
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2
Flirt back in plain view of your spouse. Keep the conversation light and playful, with a minimum of sexual overtones. The idea is to let the other person know you find her attractive and fun, which is always flattering, but not to give her any ideas that anything more will come of it. If your spouse objects, reassure her that she is the one you married and that she has nothing to worry about.
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3
Include your spouse. If you see the person who is flirting with you on a regular basis, make a point of having your spouse come along the next time you know you will the person. Let him observe how happy you and your spouse are together.
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Change the subject. If none of the above gets the message across, or the flirting becomes overt, simply refuse to participate. If the person's advances become blatant, remove yourself from the situation.
Dealing With a Flirtatious Spouse
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Join in on the fun. Keep the conversation focused on shared enjoyment for all parties rather than an intimate twosome. Engage your spouse along with his flirting partner.
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Make a subtle claim. Walk over to your spouse and put your arm around her waist, or gently kiss her on the cheek. That should dispel any ideas the other person might have.
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Take your spouse aside. If things seem to be getting out of hand, ask your spouse to speak privately. Mention to him that while you're sure he doesn't mean anything by it, his intentions might be misunderstood by someone who doesn't know him well.
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Tips & Warnings
Flirt with your spouse! There are few better ways to let her know you still find her attractive. Innocent flirting without sexual overtures should not trigger jealousy on the part of either spouse. It's just a means to make life a bit more fun.
Do not make a scene over a flirtatious gesture or conversation unless the situation is blatant. There is no need to embarrass your spouse, the other person or yourself in a situation that is almost certainly innocent. Know the difference between flirtation and a proposition, and do not cross that line. Don't flirt to make your spouse jealous. It's silly and can be harmful to your marriage.
