How to Tell Someone They Are Not Invited to a Wedding
When planning a wedding, sometimes the simplest things can become overwhelming and out of hand. While picking out your wedding cake and choosing the dresses for your bridesmaids may be easy, sitting down and making out your wedding guest list can be hard. If you have a lot of people to invite but you're on a budget, narrowing down your guest list can add a lot of unneeded pressure. Let's face it, everyone you know cannot attend your wedding, but there are ways to tell someone they are not invited without hurting feelings or potentially loosing a friend.
Instructions
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How to Tell Someone They are Not Invited to Your Wedding
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1
Decide with your groom how many people you all wish to invite to the wedding.
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2
After coming up with a definite number, begin making out your list. It's easier to make the list with your groom so that you won't have duplicate names. Also, start the list out with the people you are closest to and who you are certain will be in attendance.
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3
After making the list, make an alternate list with the people who did not make it on the definite guest list.
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4
Make sure the people on your guest list RSVP. It is easier to have a set deadline for RSVPs. This way, you can start putting people on your alternate list onto your final guest list.
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5
After the deadline has passed for the RSVP, take everyone off your guest list that did not RSVP.
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6
Count how many empty spots you have, then start adding people from the alternate list to your final list. Ask these people to also RSVP by a certain deadline. There still may be a few who cannot come.
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If after you do step 1-6, you still have people left on your alternate list, it is time to tell them they are not invited, especially if they thought they would be. It's sometimes more hurtful to a person if you do not explain to them why they are not invited versus not telling them anything at all.
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8
Do not send the person an email, but rather give them a call and meet them in person.
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9
Explain to them your budget for the wedding and let them know how important they are to you.
Example: I would really love for you to be in attendance on such a special day in my life, but because of out tight budget for the wedding, I was not able to invite as many people as I would have liked. But if possible, I would love for you to help me_______(find a dress, look for a shoes, pick a cake, etc...)
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Tips & Warnings
Never flat out say, "You are not invited," but make it clear that there is a reason. If possible, invite them to be a part of the wedding by being a host or hosts. Also, invite them to your wedding shower, if possible.
No matter how nice you may tell someone that she's not invited, she may still be upset.