How to Avoid Unwanted Hugs

These days, in the United States, it is popular among many people to give and receive hugs almost at random, with people they barely know. Whether this is a practice begun in Hollywood, 12-step groups, group therapy, or some other source, not everyone appreciates uninvited touching. Here are a few ways to politely avoid hugs.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• The ability to speak or gesture clearly
• Willingness to stand up for yourself
• A simple technique

1. In a group setting, where unwanted hugs often occur, try to notice someone coming at you with the intention of giving you a hug. When you have determined that the person really intends to hug you, take one step back.

2. Cross your left (non-handshake) arm across your chest, while at the same time offering your right hand in a handshake gesture.

3. Say something like, " I am uncomfortable with hugs right now, but I would love to shake hands with you!" This is a friendly compromise which softens what could be perceived as a rejection.

4. In more private settings, sometimes a handshake is inappropriate. In such an instance, simply step back and state that you don't really want a hug right now. Suggest an alternative, such as sitting next to each other or having a little private talk. Your body belongs to you and no one else gets to decide whether you get a hug or not.

Tips & Warnings

• If the impending hug seems to be about to happen anyway, continue to take steps backward and to repeat that you aren't comfortable with hugs right now.
• It's best to avoid rudeness or hurt feelings, but if someone persists despite your objections, it is perfectly all right to be rude or risk hurt feelings. Unwanted touch is also called, "assault" and should never be tolerated for the sake of politeness.
• If you are the kind of person who likes to give hugs, bravo! You are probably a well-intentioned and loving person. However, many cultures do not appreciate touching between unrelated individuals or hugs outside of marriage. If you must hug someone you know well, ASK PERMISSION FIRST. Also, some people have other reasons for not wanting to be hugged, such as chronic pain or sexual abuse issues. Be sensitive. Hugs mean different things to different people and are a privilege, not a right.

[eac913]

on 10/18/2009 This is terrific information. Awesome article on How to Avoid Unwanted Hugs.

[eac913]

on 10/18/2009 This is terrific information. Awesome article on How to Avoid Unwanted Hugs.

[moonsun55]

on 8/29/2009 good info.

[GreenMomma]

on 7/26/2009 I pretty much only like congratulations types of hugs from people. My children can hug me any time they like but other than that, I think hugging can be very uncomfortable. Some family members don't seem to understand even after I have repeatedly told them I don't like physical affection. I even cringe and make awful sounds and that doesn't work either! Being pregnant was the worst, people were touching my belly all of the time!!!!

[tusharboss]

on 7/26/2009 just follow a simple rule guys!
hug a person u hugs u first, thts it! u never know, about how someone feels for you, until they dnt show u how they feel.. so, its better not to touch someone you are not sure of.. Simple!!
Tushar Dutta :)