How to Kill Flies in Your House With Mushrooms

BZZZZZZZZZ, bZZZZZZZZZZ, BZZZZZZZZZ annoying? flies are annoying, dirty and spread germs yet these little critters are hard to kill. Killing them may be fun (if your a psycho or my grandma) but it can be time consuming and leave dirty entrails all over the place. Read my article to find out how to kill flies without having to catch them one by one or paying for a bug spray/light/insecticide!

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Amanita muscaria
• milk

1. 
    
   this type!

   Find a special type of mushroom called Amanita muscaria. Don't know what it is? Ask your local drug dealer or child and they can probably tell you. Amanita muscaria is a mushroom that gives you hallucinogen reactions if consumed(DRUGS ARE BAD),it is also the mushrooms that smurfs live in on TV. These wonder mushrooms can also be used to kill flies with no effort from you!

2. You can find these mushrooms growing nearly anywhere where fungi can survive. Wood areas and damp tall grass are good places to find them!

3. Grab a mushroom and cut it up into pieces. the smaller the better. Best if in sprinkle size.

4. Sprinkle into milk or any liquid that attracts flies.

5. Watch flies commit suicide and DUI!

6. Sweep up dead bodies.

Tips & Warnings

• This WORKS! What is does is once the fly consumes the mushroom, it enters delirium and starts flying all over the place. They will fly into walls or windows knocking themselves out. They can also "pass out". Funny but true.
• wash the knife unless you want to start seeing smurfs in real life!
• obviously don't drink the milk unless (see above warning)
• if you are a child reading this drugs are bad mkay?

[looptheloop]

on 1/17/2010 Great advice.

[dazzlekid]

on 6/3/2009 A fellow humorist 5*

[jaynalala]

on 5/29/2009 great article. made me laugh but i guess i might need to try it some day. =) 5* and recommended

[tsimmons]

on 5/11/2009 Seriously, you have the best titles for your articles!!

[EarthMother]

on 5/7/2009 How to Kill Flies in Your House With Mushrooms showed me either a good way to kill flies or how to enjoy a good laugh. Since I did laugh, I won't try this one at home. Smile!